April Fool

This year’s April Fool’s Day was celebrated by Meherbai’s Mandli, a little in advance, in the last week of March. It was a very special ‘April Fool’ for all Indians as three Chalak and Chatur businessmen i.e. an Air-line tycoon and two diamond merchants made a complete fool of our banking system by doing ‘Haoodas-Chaavdas’, looting and scooting. Of course, there were other smaller crooks also, who could not keep up with the principal characters and looted the banks of only a few hundred crores!

To celebrate our very efficient Banking-system and Zero-tolerance for corruption, Meherbai’s Mandli met at a posh club in South Mumbai over luncheon. The girls, all over 75, arrived first and when the boys, all over 80 arrived, they sang:

“April Fool, go to school, tell your teacher, you are a fool.”

“Of course, we are fools” said Sammy Six-pack, “That’s why we married the sorts of you.”

Silloo the Solicitor:  “Objection, Me Laard”, sounding like a lawyer in Hindi films. “How dare you make fun of us!”

Manchu-Mavali made the atmosphere light by singing ‘April Fool Banaya, Toh Unko Gussa Aya’ even as he danced like Biswajeet did on this number.

 

Manekbai the Musician asked the boys what they thought of the Red Bus.

 

Abhan Aban: BEST ni bus to red-ej aavej – ema navi vaat soo?

 

She was promptly enlightened by others that the ‘Red Bus’ was a musical group.

 

Pallonji’s prostrate problem made him excuse himself and go to the rest-room, saying “I’ll be back in a jiffy.” His wife, Piloo Popat said, “We all know how long your jiffy is – at least 20 minutes!”

 

Soon after, it was time for the buffet to start and the fools i.e. Mandli-members rushed-in where angels fear to tread. There was pin-drop silence as they ate and the boys remarked: “That’s the only time a wife keeps her mouth busy eating and devoid of Khit-Pit.”

 

Kety Khadhri asked the waiter: Mohnu Samarvanu Soo Chey? What’s there to repair the mouth?

 

Fernandez:  Aaj Strawberry Fool Hai. The ladies got suspicious, saying, maybe this was an April Fool joke and so grandly said: No desserts! We are on a diet and avoiding sugar. 

They even congratulated each other saying: We are so clever! See how we turned the April Fool joke on Fernandez. Strawberry Fool – Evoo Kai Aavey Ke? Are we fools or what?

Suddenly, huge portions of delicious desserts were served individually on all tables except Meherbai’s.  The ladies could not control themselves and asked Fernandez: Yeh Sab Log Ko Kya Serve Kiya?

 He replied, “Strawberry Fool – It is stewed strawberries strained through a sieve and mixed with fresh cream. Tum Toh Fool Bola!”

Yes ma’am, replied a frustrated Fernandez. The word ‘fool’ comes from the French Cordon Bleu cooking wherein the word ‘FOULER’ means to crush, as in grapes during wine-making.

 

The women, in the Mandli, became ‘look face, don’t laugh’ having made fools of themselves and behaving like Pakka-Idiots. They told Fernandez: “Jao Jaldi Jaldi  Hum Sub Ke Liye Bhi Fools Lay-Ke  aao!”

 

“Madamji, ab Khatam Ho Gaya!”

 

The boys couldn’t stop laughing at how their wives got fooled on account of their ignorance! When the bill arrived with GST and plus, plus, it was the wives’ turn to laugh, saying: A fool and his money part soon – ketlo expensive Buffet!

When Khadhri Kety boasted that she had four helpings from the table, Siply -Sooni quoted a line from the Bible which goes: A fool’s mouth is his destruction.

 

After lunch, the Mandli-members did so much talking and kit-kit that the management offered them free ice-creams if they promise to eat in silence and leave immediately after that.

 

Jabri Jaloo:  See, fortune favours the fools.

Gulshan Google: Speak for yourself, you seem to be only fool on the table!

You see, Jaloo and Gulshan never got along. Jaloo called Gulshan “perpetually Rarti”- always talking about her family’s (imaginary) health problems and Jaloo was jolly jingo who never discussed her health issues though she and her family members were always in and out of hospitals. At the table, when Gulshan, as usual, started her ‘Rarwani Record’, everyone shut her up, saying: How come you are never sick for evening walks, shopping, going for week-ends and movies? Hamune April Fool na Banavo!  Poor Gulshan had no answer but there was no other way of bringing her out of her bad habit!

 

Everyone said: “Meherbai, we just love being with you because you always make us laugh though your life is full of problems!”

 

Merwanji told Meherbai: “Kiss me you fool” and that was the sweetest dessert ever for both of them!!

 

Ruby Lilaowala
Ruby Lilaowala

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