Coping With Anger

Life can be like a roller coaster ride, at times open and smooth, at other times challenging to the extreme. What helps you manage both, is your ability to adapt and cope with that moment. The word ‘coping’ refers to the ability to deal effectively with something that is challenging and difficult as per the ability of the person involved.

To cope effectively with external situations starts with your internal space. Due to increasing stresses in one’s life, an increasing number of people have decreasing thresholds of toleration toward each other or toward adversities – giving rise to a lot of anger. Anger could be stored internally and end up having a huge outburst or it could be expressed every so often. It’s time we understand and learn how to cope with our anger issues…

There are numerous reasons why we may feel angry in the first place – maybe things aren’t going as per YOUR plan; maybe you’re being negatively affected by hurtful, rude or condescending people; maybe because you feel a sense of injustice when offenders get away scot-free; maybe people just don’t listen to you even when you know you’re ‘right’ and insist that everything be done their way; or maybe you’re angry at yourself for not having risen to your own expectations or potential.

Anger could be directed outwards or inwards. When we blame situations or others for the mess that we are in, we are projecting anger outwards – “If it is was not for this person (or this situation), things would have been different.” Here, we pass the onus on to others. We do not take responsibility for the state we are in. On the other hand, when you blame yourself, or think of yourself as responsible for the situation that you are in, you project anger inwards.

Immaterial of whether anger is directed outwards or inwards, it will corrode you from within – mentally, spiritually and will manifest physically too. Nothing is more damaging to health than ‘drinking up or swallowing one’s anger’. Excess anger leads to liver qi (energy) stagnation and the shen (spirit/consciousness) rising from the heart leading to headache, dizziness and ruddiness of the face. Thus, from the auric level, it materialises into physical problems.

So stop right there!

Don’t allow the negativity of anger reach the stage where you feel your heart rate increasing, face getting flushed, eyes becoming big and blood-shot, hands curling up, body posture leaning towards the person, nostrils flaring, face turning ugly and voice rising. Yes, that’s how you would look when you are angry! There are very few who can remain calm, quieten down and reign in their anger.

Healing always begins with the self, from inside. So start by working on yourself to bring about changes around you. The moment you start getting angry, ask yourself what is really upsetting you. It is so easy to get angry. But try to be stronger for your own betterment. Rather than flaring up at the drop of a hat, give others a patient ear. For a few seconds, try to switch sides and see how it appears from the other person’s perspective.

The angrier you allow yourself to remain, the more you will be surrounded by angry people. It is your energy that attracts similar qi bodies. Break this norm now! Once you release your anger you will see that people around you also calm down and seem to understand you better and vice versa. There will be some situations which will not change no matter how hard you try. In such cases, simply try to remove yourself from the situation for a while till things calm down or, simply accept the unpleasant situation as something not in your control and learn to channelize your anger into an area of your life that needs a boost. You could actually use anger to become a source of motivation for you to move forward rather than making it a setback.

Here are some Qi Gong tips that will help you to cope with anger:

Close the right nostril with your right thumb. Breathe in and out 10 times through your left nostril in a relaxed fashion. Then reverse the move.

Put your index finger on the point between your eyebrows and massage that area clockwise and anticlockwise for 2-3 mins each.

Start tapping or vibrating the area just above the nape of your neck (where the occipital lobe) is for 1-2 minutes. You can do this 3-4 times daily.

Do simple inhalation and exhalation, but focus on exhalation. Do this for 21 breaths once a day.

Affirmation for those who wish to get a hold of anger issues: “I live in a world of love and peace.” Repeat for 9 counts 3 to 9 times daily.

Kashmira Shaw Raj
Kashmira Shaw Raj

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