To celebrate Parsi Time’s seventh Birthday, seven couples from Meherbai’s Mandli met at a restaurant called ‘Seven Seas’. The khanar-pinar group ordered Seven-Ups for all and seven fish-specialities of grilled baby-lobsters, spicy tiger-prawns, chilly-crabs, tandoori-squids, fried boomlas, Hydrabadi-pomfrets and jinga-biryanis.
Banoo Batak: Number seven is very significant. Even the human body changes every seven years; each and every atom of it!
Jabri Jaloo: Even husbands get the seven year itch after seven years of imprisonment. Sorry, I mean, married life!
Kersi Kajoo-Katli: Unless it’s a happy marriage, like between a deaf husband and a blind wife!
Pestonji Pundit: The seventh child has always turned out to be a genius.
Jeroo Geography: What about the Seven Wonders of the World, seven seas, seven continents, seven days of creation and seven sins of the Bible?
Romantic Rutty: And the seven stages of love which end with Saptapati, the Hindu marriage ritual of seven Abhisheks (rounds) around a fire!
Homi Historian: Do you know about the predictions of Nostradamus that the Third World War which will destroy two-thirds of humanity will last for seven long years, just like the other two World Wars?
Meherbai: Hopefully, it won’t happen during our lifetime; since we are all closer to death than life – as they say in Hindi, Bahut Gayi Aur Thodi Rahi!!
Noshir Numerologist: Numeri-cally, the active source of all life is represented by the number one and the passive source (negative existence) by zero (shoonya or nothing). Hence, seven is the highest numerical progression in cosmogenesis.
Merwanjee: Every religion in the world acknowledges the seven states of consciousness and in our Zoroastrianism, the seventh Heaven is called Garothman
Behest, the region of perpetual light or the Anasar Roshni. The number of Ameshaspands is seven. In Christian cosmology, there’s a reference to the Seven Mighty Spirits before the throne. In Judaism, we are told of the seven Sephiroth and in Theosophy and Free Masonry, we have the seven principles of man and the seven human temperaments.
Behli Bookworm: Various newspapers and periodicals have come and gone. We miss the Sunday Standard, Blitz, Afternoon on Sunday, The Daily and many others. It is no joke to run a paper. Hence, a lot of credit should go to Parsi Times which, against all odds, has established itself as the number one in our community and that too within a short span of seven years. It speaks volumes about the tenacity and grit of the people behind it.
Everyone agreed and clapped saying hear, hear. Only Abhbhan Aban said: There, there instead of here, here!
Piloo Popat, the Philosopher: The colours of the spectrum and the Divine attributes they represent are seven. The Universe is seven-fold and in the seven musical-notes, the first and seventh are the alpha and omega of manifested sound. In ancient Egypt, seven was the number of OSIRIS and in Occult Masonry, all ceremonies start with seven symbols. The seven-fold classification can be traced throughout all the Kingdoms of Nature.
By then, the starters had arrived and everybody pounced on them like Tom pounces on Jerry in the cartoons.
Meherbai: Please! Please! Let’s not act greedy on the Saro Saganvanto Divas like Parsi Time’s seventh Birthday! To change the topic, she asked Gulshan Google about her son’s interview at Indigo Airlines.
Gulshan Google: Arrey, it was very easy! A piece of cake! The interviewer asked my Jeebharoo Jhangoo if he knew Karate and Boxing and whether he could give three slaps in a row like in Hindi TV serials in case any passanger complained about anything. My Jhangoo, who is a black-belt in Karate did some Hoo-Haa and knocked down 3-4 candidates who had come for the same job.He was selected immediately – on the spot!
Gooli Googly: You are so lucky! The only black-belt that my son Piroj-Pudding has is the one that keeps his pants from slipping down!
Aspi Aspro: (So called because his non-stop talking gives you a head-ache). There was no cash in the ATMs today. I went to three of them but failed to get a Rupee.
Meherbai: I don’t need any ATM. My ATM is in our bedroom.
Soli Solicitor: How come?
Meherbai: You see, whenever I want some hot cash, I just go through the Sadra-Lenga Thappi in Mervanji’s cupboard, and I am never disappointed. Dus, Vees, Pachas toh malij-jaai. If I am lucky someday, I get a five hundred-ni note also.
Merwanjee: Now I know where my santarela cash disappears!
Clever Coomi: Meherbai, can we all come and use your ATM whenever there is a cash crunch in Mumbai?
Meherbai: Arrey nahin re! Mine is a Bhukhri-Baaras ATM. You better stick to your regular one or else, try your luck in your hubby, Bomi’s cupboard.
Clever Coomi: I have tried time and again but all I find in Bomi Bevda’s cupboard is a bottle of cheap Daru from Aunty’s Bar. To wean him from it, I always throw away the hootch and fill it with kerosene but Bomi is such a boozer, he drinks up that also.
Gooli Googli: No wonder Bomi always smells like a Kakra-no-Choolo!!
Gulshan Google: He also smells like a Gas-no-Choolo – being such a gas-bag!
Merwanjee: Now stop your Chillam-Chilli about choolas and kitchens. Meherbai and I have brought a huge fresh mango and ice-cream cake for PT’s seventh Birthday. Let’s sing Happy Birthday to the Best Parsi paper and end this lovely Saganvanto day!
Needless to say, the cake disappeared faster than the cash in Merwanjee’s cupboard!!