The Secret Behind Healthy Relationships

It is a known fact that positive relationships bring about positive changes in the body, mind and soul. Open and honest relationships are beneficial to all. The best relationships are those that respect boundaries. They may not be clear cut, but personal space shouldn’t be invaded without permission. In most relationships the taker-giver equation is interchangeable, depending on the circumstance. When people become fixed in their roles, it gets unhealthy. It is necessary to maintain your individuality despite being a part of someone else’s life. A relationship between two people which has love, trust, understanding and compassion will be fulfilling, but one that houses doubt, anger and game-playing will turn things ugly, leaving lifelong emotional scars and depression.

Many times, we are unaware that we are in unhealthy relationships which eventually turn abusive. The basics of a healthy relationship will always allow people to grow as individuals first, and then together as a unit, to enhance the relationship, with each contributing towards the relationship’s growth by providing security and strength. A good relationship encourages people to support and stand by each other and be forthright, nurturing an atmosphere conducive to being honest and speaking out openly, leaving no room or need for game-playing and manipulation. This helps fosters friendship, empathy and compassion towards each other and themselves.

A few ways you can help improve and heal your relationships with friends:

  • Be open to sharing, speak up what’s in your heart.
  • Bring in the element of humour into your relationship. Try to defuse a situation loaded with irritation or anger with humour, tactfully. Cultivate the ability to laugh at yourself.
  • Respect their point of view, even if it contrasts with yours – agree to disagree without losing respect.
  • Be a sounding board for others – listen without interrupting.
  • Most importantly, trust people.

Marriage often changes the equation between spouses. Every relationship that has withstood the test of time bears testimony to one fact – and that is the unflagging support of the spouse. The stronger the support, the stronger the relationship. A marriage is like a garden that needs to be watered every single day.

A few suggestions to improve and heal your relationship with the spouse are as under:

  • Spend time with your spouse even if you are surrounded by family members. Speak on the phone, chat before going to sleep.
  • Take the time to do new things / activities together. Exercising together generates fresh thought patterns which will renew the relationship. Share a meal – it enhances emotional intimacy.
  • For relationships that need healing, consider Taichi which enhances Yin (soft, compassionate and loving) energy in the relationship, improving not just the emotional, but also physical and spiritual aspects in the relationship.
  • Spend alone time as a unit – if you live with many people, take the time to step out where you can freely converse and just be by yourselves.
  • Ask each other’s opinions and take each other’s valuable suggestions. Let your spouse know they are important and valued.
  • Laugh together. Sharing laughter strengthens the bond and induces closeness.
  • Even if you are angry or need to vent, let your partner know beforehand that you are letting off steam.
  • Visualise both of you happy and in love. See your partner and yourself in a place which is special to both of you. Just bask in the love and feel this energy surrounding both of you.

An affirmation to enhance your relationship: “I enjoy a harmonious and fulfilling relationship with people.”


Kashmira Shaw Raj and her husband Dr. Brijesh Raj, teach Taichi and Qigong. Kashmira is a clinical psychologist, psychic and healer and Dr. Brijesh is a leading Veterinary Surgeon and healer. They have been Taichi practitioners for over thirteen years. They are instructors in Sifu Carlton Hill’s Tao Taichi Qi Gong organization, and Shibashi Instructors under Sifu Wing Cheung from the Feng Shui and Taichi Institute, Hongkong and Canada.

‘The Tai-Qi Touch’ is located at Infinite Studio, Opp. Starbucks Café, Chowpatty, Mumbai, and offers classes for Adults (Every Tuesday, from 7:00-8:00pm) and Children (Third Saturday of every month from 4:30-5:30pm). To register, Contact Kashmira Shaw Raj at M: 9323874418 or Email:

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