Meherbai’s Mandli (girls all over 75) met to discuss last year’s Woman’s Day which was an unmitigated disaster as far as receiving gifts was concerned. They shared each other’s sorrow and hoped that their respective partners would be more imaginative and generous this year. In fact their conversation was a ‘Total Dhamal’…
Mani Maxfactor: I’d asked my hubby for the latest make-up kit with lots of colours for my eyes, cheeks and lips and what does Minoo the Moron gift me? A box of crayons saying, “Here Jetla joiyye tetla colours chey!” Am I going to school or what? What will I do with the moron’s crayons?
Piloo Pipyu: I asked my hubby to get some exotic Australian or South African wine so we could celebrate in style. And what does he do? He brings home some cheapo Vinovito plus a bottle of stinking Kaju-Feni from Goa! What’s more, my bitter-half Bomi Bevdo guzzled down both the bottles himself and slept like a new-born baby for the next two days!!
Eski-Meski Alamai: I expected a designer hand-bag from hubby but he got me something which looked like a Bajar-ni-theli! When I said, I wanted a Michael Kor bag, he roared, “Kor vaari ne sui jaa. Next year jovas!”
Gooli Gol Gol: When I requested my Janoo to get me a year’s membership at Gold’s Gym and he said, “Gher nu kaam-kaaj karo, raadho-seedho, kapra dhovo, sukvo aney bajar na fera-aati khao. Ekdum slim and trim thai Jasso! Gym-membership thi khaali mahri wallet slim and trim thai-jasey… the way you eat, you will remain gol-gol with a waistline looking like a dhol!”
Everyone: How mean! That’s body-shaming! It’s just not done! Who does he think he is just because he is thin as a stick, soti jevo, fook marey toh oodi jai tevo!
Tehmi Trinket: My bitter-half actually asked me, Soo joiyye? And when I said ‘Bali’, expecting an exotic foreign weekend, he got me kaan ni bali – ear-ring! That too sold by hawkers in local trains for ten Rupees! Even my ganga has an identical pair! The previous year, I had asked for a platinum-ring or pendant and he said forget those small things – I’ve bought you a big aluminium tapeli – doodh garam karva!
Everyone: Oh you poor thing! We sympathise!
Firuza Fituri: Sympathise with me! I expected a perfume and my stupid bloke gifts me a bottle of Lizol Phenol – jameen na katka karva! I retaliated by throwing away his expensive after-shave-lotion and filled the bottle with his own Lizol Phenol – now his cheeks are as clean as my marble-floor! And he still doesn’t know the difference!
Richi-Rich-Roshan: My moron asked me, how about a biscuit as a gift? I got delighted thinking he’s buying me a gold biscuit, which I would make into a pendant, but all I received was a packet of Parle-G!. When I burst out crying, he replaced it with an Oreo!
Naju: I love my Beboo! My Jaan always gifts me a huge malai ni mithai every year, saying,”Naju, you are my Malai-Nu-Khaju,” and to return his love, I gift him a zero watt bulb, saying, “You light up my life!” and we are both happy and so much in love even after 52 years!
Meherbai: That is exactly the point! Everyone should learn from Naju that a woman should expect nothing more than TRUE LOVE from her man. What is this nonsense about gold and platinum? What really matters is your man’s kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and togetherness! Look at Meherwanji and me – everyday, we do small acts of kindness for each other. We make each other our top priority in life, we surprise each other from time to time and give each other roses even without an occasion. We support each other in everything. It brings out the best in each other spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
Everyone clapping: Here, here, Meherbai! You are great! What really matters to a woman – TRUE LOVE. No wonder you and Meherwanji are the most chilled-out couple we know!