Our lives don’t come with maps and instructions. Everyone experiences twists and turns – from everyday challenges to traumatic events with more lasting impacts, like the death of a loved one, a life-altering accident, or a serious illness or them, this global pandemic. But most of us are able to adapt well over time to these life-changing and stressful situations, in part, thanks to our capacity to be resilient. Resilience is the process of adapting in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stresses.
As much as resilience involves ‘bouncing back’ from these difficult experiences, it also leads to profound personal growth. While these adverse events are certainly painful and difficult, they don’t have to determine the outcome of your life. Becoming more resilient empowers you to not just take on all odds that life throws your way, but also leads to your growth and improvements in your life.
Being resilient is the ability to experience the negative emotions that come after a tragedy, but having the mental outlook and strength to work through these feelings and recover. It’s about choosing to move ahead in life by managing your emotions, changing your outlook and choosing to take the right action – immaterial of the circumstances.
Just like physical strength, mental strength and resilience needs to be developed. Here are some effective ways that help cultivate the same:
Acceptance: We need to realise that even after trying our best, there will still be some things beyond our control. Making a list of what you can and cannot control right now proves helpful to use radical acceptance of situations we cannot control and focus on what we can do. Another important aspect is to accept that change is part of life. Certain goals or ideals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations in life. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed will help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
Focus On The Moment: Challenges test our willingness to stretch and change. The worst thing you can do is ignore the situation or procrastinate in developing solutions. The challenge is ‘here’ and the difficulty is ‘now’. Focus your energy on the present moment, don’t lose sight of what lies before you. When you focus on the moment, you realize where you have the most power to make things right.
Exercise Your Mind: Just like your muscles, your mind needs exercise to gain strength. Mental strength is built through lots of small wins maintained through the choices we make every day. To gain mental stamina, take on a daily task that challenges your mental endurance. In the words of the great Albert Einstein, “One should not pursue goals that are easily achieved. One must develop an instinct for what one can just barely achieve through one’s greatest efforts.”
Respond Positively: While you can’t control the odds that come your way, you can surely control how you respond to them. What happens to you is not as crucial as your response to it. Incredible progress happens when you take control of your reactions.
Be Mindful: Mindfulness means being conscious about where you employ your focus or your attention. Be it an emotion, a thought, a belief, an impulse, or something in the environment, mindfulness helps us approach everything with a curious, non-judgmental and accepting attitude. To be resilient and mentally strong, practice mindfulness so you can focus on what you truly want.
Don’t Be Defeated By Fear: Being resilient means knowing how to deal with fear. When you enter frightening situations with the awareness that it’s an opportunity for you to grow, trust outweighs fear. Face fear head-on instead of running from it.
Be Aware Of Self-Talk: We’re often too mentally occupied worrying about how we talk to others and we forget to focus on how we talk to ourselves. Make a point of being as positive and supportive of yourself as you are of others, because when times get tough, it is only self-belief that will get you through your challenges. Replace self-doubt with positivity – rid your self-talk of words like ‘can’t’ and ‘never’ and replace these with ‘can’ and ‘could’. When you find yourself doubting how far you can go, remember to tell yourself how far you’ve come, give yourself credit for the battles you have faced and won, and for the fears you’ve overcome.
Persevere To Succeed: Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” Perseverance gives you the ability to take on any difficulty or setback without being defeated. It’s better to have a lifetime full of small failures that you learned from, rather than one filled with the regret of never having tried hard and long enough!
Practice Gratitude: In our busy lives, we often forget to practice being grateful. Gratitude empowers us with fortitude; it can transform a common day into a thanks-giving day, turn a routine job into joy and transform ordinary opportunities into something to be grateful for!
Dear friends, adversity is inevitable but practicing the above pointers will keep you well-prepared with resilience to brace the storms of life and push through to blue skies again. Make it a daily pursuit. Mental strength is built and demonstrated not in exceptional circumstances, but in life’s day-to-day experiences. Positivity, preparation, willingness and discipline will serve you well. Practice mental toughness and you’ll soon be amazed at how strong you’ve become!
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