Signs That A Person Really Ain’t That Cool!

As humans, we’re all clearly made of things that are awesome and some things that could use a bit of improvement. We go through life evolving, forging friendships and relationships, attachments and bonds with a variety of people and things… all part of a deeply rich and endearing life experience. There are people you meet with whom there is instant chemistry. That relationship often blooms into a beautiful bond that could last a lifetime. But people are not always what they seem. A person could charm the pants off you, but over time, disappoint. There are some obvious signs of a not-so-great person. Obviously lying, cheating, being manipulative, arrogant, cruel are in your face, red flags. But what about those subtle, not-so-apparent signs? Those are the ones we should keep an eye out for, as these indicate the true nature / character of a person…

The Opportunists: You’d be surprised at the number of people in your life that fall into this bracket! From friends, family members, colleagues… they’re seeking a favour or a service you can provide. Now, occasional asks are alright in any relationship – after all, friendship is based on give and take. But people who ask favours constantly, or manipulate situations to favourably suit them at all times, or seek you out only when the need arises, are not people you need hanging on your coat tails. Every relationship demands respect and mutual affection. An opportunist takes advantage of people and things. Ask yourself if the relationship offers you anything real – do these people only lend themselves as friends on paper and nothing else?

The Inconsiderates – Those Who Don’t Give Much Thought To People Around Them: Running late for work, your spouse sits around reading the morning news while you are multitasking with the help, children, the dog and meals. Or how about that friend you always grab that last piece of chocolate despite the fact that someone else at the party has not even sampled it yet. Or what about the bigger slice, the better seat, the more enticing option every single time. You may tolerate it, you may, but you certainly do not like it! People who do this, lack thought or concern for others. It belies warmth, generosity and empathy towards others. Oh, we are all guilty of it from time to time but a habitual display of inconsiderate behaviour like this is unacceptable!

Those Who Don’t Keep Their Word: This could be anything, from never keeping an appointment to always showing up an hour late. People who say they’ll call to someone promising to help you with a task and then forgetting all about it. Anyone who makes a habit of this is someone you cannot trust and therefore cannot be relied on. When people display lack of sincerity on their word or promises, they lack respect or concern for another.

The Quick To Judge Types: You need to tread carefully with people who regard good or bad, right or wrong, based on simplistic, singular surface appearance. Anyone who views people through a black and white, good or bad lens, is someone to be cautious with. Quick judgement calls are made by those living a shallow, fear-based life, with immature thinking capacity.

Those Who Make Things Worse… Even If Unintentionally: There are people who leave spaces worse than before. This often applies to both your physical and emotional space. We have all encountered them – they mess up a room like a mini-hurricane or guests who never do the beds or pick up their dirty clothes. What about those smokers who not harm your lungs through passive smoking but leave trails of ash and butts wherever they go! And what about those pet lovers who casually walk off from that great big pile of dump their loved canine just left. Worse still are those people that walk in polluting your thoughts and peace with constant grumbles, aches and pain. Theirs is a life reveling in all these injustices meted out to them – an endless list of drama and tragedy, sorrow and negativity. A constant pity-party is what you’re invited to. They can truly bring you down and cause a constant sense of guilt, just in case your life is going well and you are fine. People who leave a physical space worse off, or taint and wreck your emotional well-being are better off away from your personal space and sphere.

Those Who Just Can’t Apologize: People who find it difficult to apologize are usually disconnected from the feelings of others and don’t particularly care about them. They’re known to be arrogant, defensive and self-righteous. When they do occasionally apologize, it would seem that the apology was either false, fake or forced, giving the impression that they are just doing it for personal gains and nothing more. Either way, this is a troubling sign and one of poor character.

Those Know-It-Alls: These are the self-proclaimed philosophers who love to sermonise, lecture and walk around with a chip on their shoulders, always feeling they know best. They give opinions and lectures, judge and criticise others at a drop of a hat. Their conversations are often condescending and their attitude, patronising. They talk to friends, family and peers like they are conversing with a 5-year-old. Any conversation with them leads you into a vortex created by their own ego. They truly believe they are superior than the rest of us ‘ordinary folks’.

The people you spend your time with can influence your mood, your perspective and the way you view the world. Therefore, it is imperative to be aware and measure the company you keep. People around you make you the person you are. They can empower you, inspire you and raise you to new heights. The more time you spend with them, the better you feel. No one is perfect – that’s a fact, but small things go a long way in making a big difference!

Veera Shroff Sanjana
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