The khanar-pinar, farnar-harnar Mandli members wanted a new gastronomic adventure. Lunches, breakfasts, and tea-parties were all old-hat and under Meherbai’s influence, the entire Mandli was into healthy living by not eating anything after sunset. Hence, Meherwanji, the ever-supporting, fun-loving husband suggested a farsan and mithai party at their home, which was welcomed by the young, full of life members (all over 80).
Silloo Sten-gun: Bring out the mithais first. Others may be having a sweet-tooth, but I have 32 sweet-teeth!
The Mandli: Yes,yYes! Good idea, Silloo!
Meherbai laid out the mithais on one table and farsans on the other.
Jabri Jaloo: I love Jalebis! They remind me that shape doesn’t matter.
Gooli Gol-Gol: Shape is not in your hands. Take this rasgulla for instance. It’s big and round to begin with. Squeeze it and make it as small as you want but it will return to its original size and shape once you insert it into seera!
Baji Bun-pao: I love the boondi ladoos because every little boondi matters. Every small effort in any area of your life yeilds results. Tipey-tipey sarover bharaye!
Meherwanji: My Meherbai is soft like a gulab-jamun. Strict on the outside, but very emotional and gentle on the inside.
Fasi-gailo Freddy: You are lucky! My wife is a hot chilly – ekdum tikkhu marchu! Snaps at me for the smallest thing, on an hourly basis. Also, she is clairvoyant like most Parsi wives and knows that I am wrong even before I open my mouth! I have to give her explanations for every little thing and feel as though I am standing in a witness box and she is the judge who threatens to give me a life-sentence every time!! Hence, I got a brilliantine-idio. I purchased a hearing -aid though my hearing is perfect and started wearing it around the house – now, whenever she shouts at me, I tell her, ‘Battery down chhe!’ – I can’t hear a word! God Bless the man who invented the hearing aid!
With these words, a Pandoras’s box was opened and ALL the husbands in the Mandli wanted to know the address of this Hearing Aid shop!
Ratanbai Racing-Car (who had just arrived without her husband): I left my car-keys in the car’s ignition as always so I can’t lose them and now, the car is not there. I even complained to the police that my car is stolen!
Meherbai: Inform your husband also!!
Ratanbai Racing-car: How can I? He always reprimands me for leaving the keys in the car!
The Mandli: Don’t be scared. Meherbai will phone on your behalf.
Meherbai (on the phone with Rattansha): Where are you? We are missing you so much at the farsan and mithai party!
Rattansha: I’ll come, as soon as I convince this police-officer that I have not stolen Ratanbai’s car!
Hen-pecked Homi: Ratansha is jabro naseebwalo! I’m scared of my wife and so are my other friends, whereas in Ratansha’s case, it’s just the opposite! Ratanbai is scared of him! My theory in life is, if you want to be happy, be henpecked!
Minoo Margho: I second you!!
Coomi Kajwali: Minoo bawa, I had arranged your marriage with a gentle, soft, kind. Gai-Jevi-Gareeb girl, as you yourself used to say. What happened?
Minoo: Arrey mai, soo bolu? Your gentle, soft, kind, gareeb-gai became an MGM Lion in no time and roars at me in full public view, so I have become a Margho!
Pastailo Pesi: Arrey Bawa, all wives criticise their husbands. Nothing that we do is right. Even wives of famous men jhapto them. Tamuney khabar chey? I will give some examples…
Isaac Newton’s wife asked him, ” Why were you wasting time sitting under the apple tree? And did you wash that apple properly before eating it?”
Archimede’s wife said: “Shame on you running naked in the street! And by the way, who is this new girl-friend EUREKA?”
Thomas Edison’s wife said: “Of course, I am proud that you invented the electric-bulb. Now turn it off and go to bed!”
Abraham Lincoln’s wife was even more demanding, “If you want to go out with me, take-off that shabby coat and hat and wear a decent outfit!”
Alexander Graham Bell’s wife was most happy that he invented the telephone but was very firm that she doesn’t want relatives calling at odd hours!
Michelangelo’s wife asked him, “Can’t you paint on the canvas like other artists? Why do you paint on ceilings for heaven’s sake? You will fall down someday!”
Albert Einstein’s wife hated his jithra-pithra overgrown hair, so she bought him a styling gel and yelled at him daily for not using it!
But the saddest case was of Christopher Columbus. His wife met him after several years and welcomed him home saying, “Where were you? I don’t care if you were discovering America, Asia or Antartica – Why didn’t you send me a single post-card all these years? I have already found someone else in my life!” So, Columbus was homeless and wifeless after discovering America!
Meherwanji: Pesub!! Hold on. Over half of these famous men you have mentioned were not even married and some of them were happily married!! So please stop this Fekum-fek and enjoy the farsan.
Pastailo Pesi: Really? Some were happily married? Impossible. How can it be? Either you are happy or you are married – like me and my bitter-half.
Banoo Batak: Jao-jao!! Of course we can be happily married. I married my school tuition teacher at 16. Today, I’m 71 and still happily married to my Lovjibhai Lambo!!
Lovjibhai Lambo: What she means is, she’s happy. I am just married! By the way, it’s a wrong theory that married people live longer than single ones – it only SEEMS longer!
Abbhan Aban: My bank is crazy to charge a fee for “insufficient funds” when they already know there’s not enough!
Alamai Eienstein: Aban, don’t try to exhibit your intelligence, especially when you are in the wrong.
Abbhan Aban: My Bawaji says I’m extremely intelligent. Come on Mandli, if you guys are so clever, answer me: If Tarzan lived in the jungle all his life, how come he was clean-shaven? He should have had a beard! And if electricity comes from electrones, does morality come from morons? Also, why do people say, “I slept like a baby” when babies get up every two hours and give you sleepless nights? What is the speed of darkness? Why do we press harder on a remote-control when we know that the batteries are flat? And does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Vicaji Vandro: Oh my Aban!! You are the cleverest female on Earth. Marry me and together we shall solve all your riddles.
Abbhan Aban: For the last time, the answer is NO!!
By then, the party was over and the Mandli parted with the usual Ta-Tas, Bye-Byes and Kissi-Kotis and Sal Mubarak!