Meherbai Holds A Quiz Evening!

To raise the IQ of the Mandli in 2024, Meherbai suggested a Quiz Evening at her club, saying that it’s “food for the mind!”

Sohrab Sali-boti: But what about food for the body?
Meherbai: Oh! Not to worry! There will be plenty of healthy food available!
Keks Khadhri Wife: Keks! Keks!! Take a big empty tiffin to bring home the left-over snacks.
The Mandli settled on the sofas of the Club’s Blue Lounge.
Vikaji Vandro: I want to marry and be the happiest man in the world!
Coomi Kaajwali: Impossible! You can’t have both! Either you marry or you remain happy!
Alamai Aristotle: In Delhi, people don’t know which car to take out today (odd and even dates rule). In Dubai, the locals don’t know which wife to take out today.
Khushru Khiskoli: But in the so-called American progressive society, people don’t know whose wife to take out today!
Baji Bunpao: In Borivali, commuters don’t know which platform the train will come on today.
Jamshedji journalist: I knew the late Khushwant Singh during my journalistic career. He had a great sense of humour and was a huge fan of the late actress Nergis, who called him up one day to say, “ Mr. Singh, my kids are studying in Sanawar and I need to attend the school’s Annual Day. All hotels are booked. Since you have a villa in Kasauli, may I stay there for a night?”
The Mandli: Pachchi? Pachchi?
Jamshedji journalist: Khushwant Singh agreed but on one condition saying: “Only if I have your permission to tell everybody that Nergis slept in my bed!!”
Alamai: I will start the quiz with: How many canaries are there on Canary Island?
Everyone speculated and gave answers ranging from 400 to thousands.
Alamai: There’s not a single canary on Canary Island! Nobody knows when the canaries disappeared or why it is still called Canary Island!
Dorabji Dolo: What is the cure for insomnia?
Rutty Ration-Card: A glass of hot milk.
Minoo Makori: A hot bath!
Pilamai Papaao: Reading a boring book that puts you to sleep!
Dorabji Dolo: ALL WRONG! There are only three cures for insomnia – 1) Pillow; 2) Pill-Lo; and 3) Pi-Lo!
Meherwanji: Why should we love animals?
Keks Khadro: Because they are tasty too!
Meherwanji: Why is money not everything in life?
Coomi Combiflam: Because there’s also Visa and Mastercard.
Meherwanji: How can we save water?
Polly Pipyu: By drinking Scotch on the rocks!!
Dorabji: Why one shouldn’t shout in the office?
Themi Typist: Because it wakes-up all those around us who are sleeping!
Now the fruit-platter salad that Meherbai had ordered arrived, in keeping with her healthy resolution for 2024.
Kek’s Khadhri Wife: Aai Soo? Ghaas-Foos? I like only real food like marghi, mutton and fish!
Meherbai: Fruit and salad are healthy!
Kek’s Khadhri Wife: So leave them for the sick. We are already healthy. Why are you feeding us bakri-no-Khorak?
Kek’s wife ordered 12 plates of Chicken Sandwiches, ate 6 plates and put the other 6 in her hubby, Kek’s tiffin (for tomorrow’s breakfast).
Rangilo Ratan: Who said, ‘love thy neighbour’?
Manchu Mavali: It’s not ‘love thy neighbour’. It’s ‘love thy neighbour’s wife… but don’t get caught’!
Behli Brun Pao: Not possible in my case. My neighbour’s wife looks like a house-of-horrors! She’s jaari-paari-kaari with a horrid temper! Even her hubby runs away from home – leaves after breakfast and returns only at dinner time!
All the Mandli-men offered sympathy to Behli Bun Pao and offered to introduce him to their respective neighbours’ wives!
Meherbai: There must be a rainbow on your plate when you eat food.
Abbhan Aban: Rainbow is in the sky, no?
Meherbai: What I mean is, there must be 5 to 7 coloured food items on your plate. It should be colourful so that it’s nutritionally-dense and healthy!
Freny Fatakri: I love my burgers, pizzas, samosas, cokes and ketchup. That’s a rainbow of brown, yellow, black, grey and red.
Meherbai: Hey, Hey! Hold on. Those are the worst things you can feed your body. No wonder you are always sick. Your immunity is so low. I’ll teach you today itself how to eat for optimum good health.
Freny: Why do something today when it can be done tomorrow?
Rusi Rock-star: That too by someone else?
Meherbai: I am most disappointed by answers in today’s Quiz! The IQ (Intelligence Quotient) of our members is very low. I shall give you all a list of books to read to broaden your mental-horizons and make you more intelligent. Books are holy!
Khadhro Keks: Oh yes. Books are holy, so I don’t touch them!
Dr. Dinshawji Dentist: I’ll ask some medical questions to test your dental and mental health! Tell me, what is cardiology?
Freny Fatakri: The art of playing cards!
Dr. D. Dentist: What is radiology?
Bomi Bevdo: Only a radio-repairer would know that.
Dr. D. Dentist: What is a cavity?
Pilamai Papao: What Dentists make in your wallet after they fill your tooth!
Dr. D. Dentist: What is an antibody?
Dolly Ding-Dong: Persons who don’t like to interact with others. They dislike everybody. That’s why they are called anti-body!
Dr. D. Dentist: What are genes?
Themi Typist: Blue denims of course. What else?
Dr. D. Dentist: What exactly is dental filling?
Khadro Keks: When food served at a restaurant is so little, we usually say, ‘Dabhi dahar ma bi nahi mayoo!’
Meherwanji: What is a bacteria?
Abbhan Aban: Back-door of a Cafeteria!
Dr. D. Dentist: All wrong answers. Not a single one correct! The Mandli members need to read some general knowledge books. Their collective IQ is below-zero!
Banoo Batak: My IQ in reading and dancing is very high. I have read ‘Aladdin and his Magic Limp’. I’m also familiar with ballet, like Tchaikovsky’s ‘ Swine Lake’!
Meherbai: ENOUGH!! I can’t take this any longer. Let’s forget about the Quiz-session. It’s not working.
Khadhro Keks: Let’s only have eating-sessions.
And everyone readily supported Keks! On that note the Mandli parted with Kissi-Koti, Tata, Bye-Bye and Happy New Year!

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