There are mothers… and then there are our Parsi Mummas! She’s a 5-foot-5 cyclone of affection, suspicion, prayer books, complaints and unsolicited advice. She’ll fight the world for her children (especially her 40-year-old, single son, who she continues referring to lovingly as ‘Mahro nallo’); scream at the maid for using the scratchy-mesh on the non-stick, and yet make sure the machhiwalo never feels unappreciated. She’s the undisputed Empress of Emotional Drama, Matriarch of Multivitamins, CEO of ‘I Told You So Inc.!’, Chief Curator of ‘Plastic Bags Inside Plastic Bags’, Queen of Guilt Trips and Emotional Blackmail and the Royal Archivist of Your Every Mistake (since 1990). Think your mum’s a full-blown Parsi Mumma? Or are you one yourself? Find out with this side-splitting Mother’s Day Quiz brought to you by the ‘Ministry of Dhansak, Drama And Dettol’.
1. The maid takes an unwarranted chhutti (day off). Mumma:
a) Declares National Emergency and starts washing dishes with tragic sighs.
b) Tells hubby “Stop sitting like the statue of Hormazd and help in the kitchen!”
c) Call her 7 times. Her phone is off. It’s a conspiracy theory!!
2. You tell her you’re dating someone. Mumma reacts:
a) “Who is this now? Parsi toh chhe ne? What does their daddy do?”
b) Calls Freny Aunty within 3 minutes for a background check.
c) By lighting a diva and starts planning the wedding.
3. How Mumma manages Pappa…
a) He’s the man of the house but only because she allows it.
b) Communication is instruction-based: “Take your pills!”, “Don’t keep sitting like an ox!” “Stop digging your nose in public!”
c) Mumma once let daddy into the kitchen. Once. He is still apologising.
4. Mumma’s relationship with the daughter-in-law is:
a) “She’s sweet… but she can’t make papeta-par-eedu to save her life!
b) “Nice girl, but always looking into her phone. No sense of kaam.”
c) “Lacks cultural upbringing – she thinks Ambakalyo is a town in Gujarat!”
5. Mumma’s idea of a relaxing evening:
a) Watching ‘Taarak Mehta’ with one leg up on the teapoy.
b) Repeating, “What to cook tomorrow?” until someone answers.
c) Rearranging the Godrej cupboard while sighing dramatically.
6. Her favourite catchphrase:
a) “I carried you for 9 months and THIS is how you repay me?”
b) “Call me when you reach. And when you leave. And when you sit. And when you drink water.”
c) “Mummy is not at all interfering! She’s simply looking out for your ‘best interests!’
7. Mumma finds out you spent `800 on Avocado-on-toast. She:
a) Screams, “You could have had 1 Pulao-dal, 4 chicken cutlets, 2 bottles of raspberry soda in that much!”
b) Shares comparative analysis: “In my time, `800 could buy half of Crawford Market!”
c) Tells everyone from the neighbour’s dog to the milkman that you’ve joined a cult.
8. Mumma’s thoughts on your Marriage / Love life:
a) When I was your age, I already had you!
b) “Of course! Marry who you want, dikra – as long as they’re Parsi, own a few flats, and are preferably related to the Tatas or Wadia or Godrej family.”
c) Has already shortlisted 4 suitable candidates, one of whom is a doctor and plays the violin!
9. Her reaction when you do something without telling her:
a) Doles out such intense silent treatment that even the pet Labradoodle squirms
b) Brings it up at dinner: “I’m just furniture in this house!”
c) Pack your bags – we’re off on a lifelong Guilt-trip!
10. What is Mumma’s favourite mode of communication?
a) Missed calls and passive-aggressive WhatsApp forwards
b) Yelling from the kitchen even when you’re on a Zoom call
c) Saying “I’m fine” and expecting you to decode 47 layers of emotional context
11. Her approach to religion:
a) Believes lighting the diva daily is as important as breathing.
b) Prays for you, your career, your digestion, and possible future grandchildren.
c) Has one dedicated cupboard for sukhar, loban and religious books – sorted by page softness.
12. God forbid should you sneeze or cough! Mumma…
a) Brings out the Eucalyptus oil and steamer, 2 sweaters and starts chanting from the Avesta
b) Screams, “Oh Khodai! I keep telling you to stay away from your friends! See what they gave you!
c) Calls Dr. Soonawala, Dr. Udwadia, Dr. Contractor and Dr. Patel… just to ensure no one is out of town!
13. What Mumma really means when she says, “Do whatever you want!”
a) “You better only do exactly what I want you to do!!”
b) “You have no regard for your mother’s feelings”
c) “I will remember this betrayal forever”
14. What’s the one thing a Parsi Mumma never forgets?
a) Who didn’t return her Tupperware from the last Jashan
b) Every insult, real or imagined, since 1978
c) To remind you: “I carried you for nine months and you give me this?!”
15. What is Mumma’s superpower?
a) Finding lost things by just yelling your name
b) Detecting lies faster than any lie detector machine
c) Cooking 7 dishes from “nothing in the fridge.”
Quiz Results:
Count how many times you chose A, B, or C.
Mostly A’s: You’re the Orignal Parsi Mumma: You run on prayer, pride, and pressure cookers. Expert in drama, diva-lighting, and dishing out guilt faster than lagan-nu-custard. You’re vintage gold, never outdated and always outspoken!
Mostly B’s: You’re the Modern Matriarch Mumma: You’ve got one foot in tradition and the other in Wi-Fi. You manage the home, track everyone’s digestion, and post sunset pics on FB and Insta!
Mostly C’s: You’re the Sass Queen Supreme Mumma: You weaponize silence, plan 5 weddings in your head, and guilt-trip like a pro. Every sneeze is a crisis and every decision (not yours) is a betrayal.
Final verdict: Whether old-school, new-gen or emotional ninja – every Parsi Mumma is a force of nature! May your dhansak be hot, your prayers be heard, and your maid never take leave on a Sunday! Happy Mumma’s Day!
