Timeless Lessons In Raising Dogs From A Generation That Didn’t Read Dog-training Books
My grandmother never read a dog-training book in her life. She didn’t watch YouTube dog behaviour videos, didn’t own fancy dog leashes in ten different colours, and had no clue what ‘separation anxiety’ meant, even if it was written in Farsi! But every dog she raised was polite, loving and better behaved than most people living in a Parsi Baug! In my granny’s home, where the dhansak masala was handmade and the divo was lit on time, the dogs had their place. They were loved but not indulged. Fed, but not fussed over. Disciplined, but never dominated. She raised them the way she raised her children and grandchildren – with structure, love and the occasional stare that could stop you mid-tantrum.
So, in today’s world filled with dog spas, gluten-free diets, anxiety vests and behaviour charts, I often find myself thinking: what would my grandmother do? Here’s her no-nonsense, completely uncertified, and surprisingly effective guide to raising dogs:
The Dog Lives In The House, Not On The Dining Table: Yes, the dog was family. But even family had rules (no feet allowed on the dining table). The dog could nap on his own bed, not the sofa. Dogs were fed in the bowl in the kitchen, not off the dining table. And heaven help the dog if he even thought about chewing up her lace bedcover!
“If you want your dog to behave like a gentleman, stop treating him like a spoiled child!” she’d say. She believed that structure gave dogs confidence. And dignity. And frankly, she wasn’t going to share her bhakras with anyone who barked at her while she was saying her prayers. Manners mattered.
Feed The Dog, Not Your Guilt: Modern pet-parents stress endlessly about their dogs’ diet. Raw or kibble? Grain-free? Cooked? Quail eggs or goat’s milk? Gluten-free, sweet-potato cookies from Canada? Many of today’s dog-diets are better curated than the human’s! My grandma cooked wholesome, hearty meals for our dog – meat, rice and vegetables, made with love and care. The kitchen would be filled with the aroma and portions were enough to satisfy even the hungriest Labrador. But if the dog didn’t eat, the plate was removed in ten minutes. There was no dancing around the dog with boiled chicken at 11:00 pm! “If he’s hungry, he’ll eat!,” she’d say. “This is a dog, not a nawab!”
Speak Your Dog’s Language: She gave instructions with clarity. “Sit,” meant sit. Not “Sit… please sit… Arrey dikra why you not sitting? I said sit!” She didn’t need treats or bribes, her body language, tone and quiet authority was all the dog needed to listen. “Don’t give five instructions and then blame the dog for being confused,” she’d say, peering over her spectacles. “Dogs are smart, they will learn well if you communicate clearly.”
Loving Doesn’t Mean Letting Go Of Rules: This one stings because we’re all guilty of it. Loving our dogs so much that we forget to lead them. Feeling so guilty for leaving them alone, or saying ‘no’, that we let them rule the roost. But my grandmother loved firmly. She comforted without coddling. She said ‘no’ and meant it. And our dogs, in return, looked to her like she hung the moon! “You want your dog to trust you and to listen to you? Then behave like someone worth trusting and respecting. No one likes a spoilt brat, whether it’s a child or a dog!”
Dogs Don’t Need Wardrobes, They Have Fur: Back in the day, dogs weren’t fashion statements. Their only outfit was their fur. No designer jackets, no bow ties, no neon raincoats. There were no winter sweaters with reindeer patterns. No T-shirts that said, ‘Mama’s Boy’ or ‘I Woke Up Cute’. If it was cold, the dog curled up in a patch of sunlight by the window. If it rained, he came inside, shook water all over the floor (and anyone in the way), and stood patiently until someone dried him off with an old towel. Granny would laugh when we struggled to get our dogs to wear raincoats. “Let him get wet,” she would say. “Let him be a dog!” She believed a dog wasn’t meant to be paraded around like a doll. He was a dog – proud, muddy and slightly smelly after playing in the garden.
“Every Dog Is A Good Dog – It’s The Human That Needs The Training!”
This was her favourite line. And it stayed with me long after she was gone. She raised two brilliant daughters, three Labradors, two cocker spaniels, two strays, one slightly mad Dobermann, the neighbour’s Terrier and a barrage of stray kittens and puppies I would bring home. She had no internet, no instructions; just instinct and old-fashioned wisdom.
Since her advice, we’ve come a long way, and yes, some of it has been for the better. We know more about dog behaviour, signs of fear, kinder methods of training and even helping our dogs cope with the modern world. But somewhere along the way, in our attempt to “give them everything,” we forget that what dogs really need is what my grandmother always had in abundance: common sense. And just enough firmness to keep everyone – canine and human – from going off the rails.
So, here’s to all our grandmothers – the original behaviourists, life coaches, and dog whisperers. They may not have had dog biscuits shaped like tiny sushi rolls, but they had something better… They had sense. And to this day, when someone calls me to say their dog has become ‘aggressive’ or ‘spoiled’, I hear her voice in my head: “Fix the human first. The dog will follow.”
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