International Men’s Day (19^th November) is just around the corner… and our dashing Bawa Men surely deserve a day dedicated exclusively to them! From double-parking outside Ripon Club to ordering half-the-menu at Britannia, from polishing the same shoe since 1985 to flirting with every bawi between Colaba and Karjat, the Parsi man is a deluxe, limited-edition item. He can gossip better than all your maasis put together, quote cricket facts faster than Google and walk into any building like he owns the lease, the land and the neighbour’s parking as bonus. He can sweet-talk a lady, threaten a watchman, negotiate a cab fare, out-eat a wrestler and then go home and sleep like a baby under his Mumma’s Swiss blanket.

His hobbies include Driving like James Bond on Peddar Road at 29 kmph; Giving parking instructions to strangers; Ordering custard before reading the menu; Using cologne like it’s sanitizer… and falling in love with every bawi who can make prawn patia with dhandaar.

So, in the spirit of celebrating our ‘Heroes of Horsepower, Hunger and Hereditary drama, PT presents this quiz to assess your level of authentic male bawaji madness. So, if you’ve fastened your seatbelts, adjusted your sudra and threatened the watchman with his life should he let anyone else park in your space, answer the following fun questions to find out: What’s Your International Men’s Day Bawa Score?

1) How do you make your ‘Parsi Peg’?

A) Half glass whiskey, one drop soda, garnish with attitude.
B) Keep pouring till your ancestor’s portrait on the wall nods in approval.

C) Call it a “small peg,” drink like it’s a flood-relief donation.

 2) Your wife asks, “How do I look?” You say…

A) “Fabulous!” without looking away from the TV showing cricket highlights repeat.
B) Like a million bucks… but our budget is Rs. 500

C) Ekdum fatakro! Now please find my wallet, keys and phone.

3) As a husband, your special skill is…

A) Saying “Yes yes!” without listening.

B) Offering help only after all work is finished.

C) Going to the market for one item, returning with twelve snacks.

4) Your flirting technique with a bawi is…

A) Send meme, wait 3 days, panic, delete message, send again.

B) Claim your great-great-bappawaji knew her great-great-grand-kaka.
C) Walk past her three times hoping she notices… she doesn’t.

 5) You’re at a marriage function / colony gathering. You’re found…

A) At the bar, narrating colony gossip with dramatic gestures.

B) At the buffet, ‘tasting’ everything till your plate resembles an architectural structure.

C) Telling the DJ to play ‘The Birdie Song’ for the 11^th

 6) You catch someone eyeing your parking spot, you..

A) Rev the engine so loudly even the crows file a noise complaint!

B) Park diagonally to show dominance.
C) Pretend to call ‘higher authorities’ while actually dialling your mumma.

7) As a father, your best advice to your children is…

A) Don’t waste money… unless it’s on food or car polish.

B) Always speak the truth… except when your mumma asks who finished the dar-ni-pori?

C) Dikra, always keep the tank full – in life and in car!

8) You’re watching cricket and India loses. You blame…

A) The captain, the coach, the commentators, the cat – everybody except Team India.

B) Your wife because she got up for choi, mid-over!

C) The remote, because you changed channel for one second.

9) Your ideal Sunday breakfast is…

A) Full English breakfast… once you’re done eating the full Parsi breakfast!

B) All of the things your cardiologist / diabetologist warned you about.

C) Whatever mumma makes, coz it’s usually enough to feed an army battalion!

10) What’s your view on your bike or car?

A) My love, my life, my religion!
B) I talk to it more than I talk to my wife.

C) My gaari is my legacy – children can fight over property later.

11) Your idea of exercise is…

A) Walking to Yazdani Bakery and calling it ‘cardio’.
B) Going to a mall with wife on a weekend – ultimate endurance test.

C) Stretching to reach the TV remote on centre table.

12) Your legacy in life will be…

A) Parking mastery so legendary they’ll name the spot after you!

B) Achieving the perfect Parsi Peg ratio – UNESCO heritage-worthy.

C) Becoming the oral historian of colony scandals since 1975

13) When someone says, “Parsi men are so entitled,” you reply…

A) What to do… perfection comes with side effects!

B) Entitled? Maybe. Entertaining? Always.

C) It’s not entitlement… it’s centuries of confidence marinated in good food.

RESULTS: What’s Your International Men’s Day Bawa Score? Count how many A’s, B’s and C’s you got… then prepare yourself mentally. The results may cause excessive laughter, sudden hunger or uncontrollable desire for a Parsi Peg.

Mostly A’s: ‘The Classic Bawaji – Original Recipe, No Additives’: You are the authentic, full-flavoured, 100% natural Bawa… The one mothers boast about, aunties flirt with and watchmen fear. You argue with confidence, park with authority and eat like every meal is your last supper. You flirt like a comedy film, drive like a tragedy film and advise your children like it’s a courtroom drama. International Men’s Day exists because of you! Continue blessing the world with your swagger… and your cholesterol levels.

Mostly B’s: ‘The Deluxe Modern Bawaji – Heritage Exterior, Upgraded Engine’: You’re the perfect blend of classic bawaji culture and modern nonsense. You know your Gara from your Google Pay, your patra-ni-machhi from your protein shake and your flirting from your fasting. You are stylish, technologically updated and emotionally dramatic in HD. Your parking is crooked, your confidence is straight and your excuses are poetic.
International Men’s Day is lucky to have you – sparkle on, Bawa!

Mostly C’s: ‘The Evolved Bawa 2.0 – New Software, Same Hilarity’: You’re the future of the Parsi gene pool – updated, wifi-enabled and Mumma-dependent. You pretend to be calm, but one wrong parking attempt and you turn into a 1920s Bawa instantly! You are soft, sweet, sensitive… until someone touches your car or your cutlet. You may act modern, but your soul still wakes up craving eedu. Congratulations – International Men’s Day celebrates you, your drama and your data plan!

Happy International Men’s Day, Dear Glorious Bawas!

Whether you’re a Classic, Deluxe or Evolved Bawaji, one thing is certain – the world would be painfully boring without you. Your humour, heart, hunger, heroism, hereditary drama and horsepower make you a limited-edition masterpiece! So, raise your Parsi Peg (or three), salute your car, hug your mumma, flirt with that bawi from across the colony building and celebrate yourself and tell the world: “Yes, I am Parsi Man… entertainment guaranteed, parking extra!”