What Dogs Have Figured Out About Humans!
Shirin Dhabhar is India’s pioneering Canine Behaviourist and Trainer. For over 25 years now, she has worked hard to ensure that dogs in India are trained using reward-based methods.
“Oh God, Maya, not again!” I say as I get up for the umpteenth time to retrieve her ball, which she has rolled (intentionally, in my opinion) under the sofa, and then summoned me with incessant barking to recover it for her. She watches the entire operation with great interest, tail wagging furiously. I hand it back and return to work but within minutes, she’s at it again! As I watch her repeat this little drama with obvious delight, I can’t help wondering who exactly has been trained here!!
Humans like to believe they train dogs. Dogs, I suspect, quietly know that they trained humans centuries ago! They seem to understand us remarkably well, well enough to get us to jump to their slightest whims, share our beds and even hand over bits of our dinner willingly. Humans like to think we know all about dogs. But I have a strong suspicion that dogs know far more about humans than they let on, which raises an interesting question – what exactly do dogs know about us? Here’s an insight…
Humans Are Deeply Confusing Creatures
Consider the average conversation between a human and a dog.
“Max! You cannot sit on the sofa! Never mind that you got to sit on it for the past six months. The new dog training book says dogs are not allowed on furniture. So, get off!”
“Max! Get off!” said louder
“Get off!” said even louder
“GET OFF!” now even the neighbours can hear it.
Max, continuing to sit on the sofa, watches the drama with great amusement. Yesterday the sofa was allowed. Today the sofa is forbidden. Tomorrow the sofa will be allowed again when guests arrive, and the dog suddenly becomes ‘part of the family’. From a dog’s point of view, humans must seem like whimsical creatures who rewrite the rulebook every Tuesday. It is remarkable that dogs manage to cooperate with us at all!
Humans Talk Far Too Much
Dogs communicate beautifully using body language – a change in posture, shifting eye contact, a gentle tilt of the head and a wag of the tail. Humans, on the other hand, feel compelled to deliver speeches. I often watch owners explaining things to their dogs in full paragraphs! I once watched a client spend ten minutes explaining to his Labrador why he shouldn’t steal food from the table. It was calm, logical and extremely well-reasoned. The Labrador listened patiently. Then he stole the sandwich anyway.
Or take my last client who pleaded with her dog to walk well, “Now listen, my darling Bruno, mummy has had a long day and we really don’t need this nonsense right now… If you love mummy, you will walk well, otherwise mummy will get hurt and then be very angry with you. You pulled yesterday too, knowing fully well I forbid you to do so!” Bruno, meanwhile, has already gathered everything he needs to know from the fact that ‘mummy’ is standing with her shoulders tight and her voice three octaves higher than usual and that if he does pull again today, she will probably forgive him. Dogs read the body. Humans narrate the drama.
Humans Believe They Are in Charge
A great illusion humans cherish is the belief that they are in control of the dogs. Dogs are generally happy to encourage this belief.
“Sasha, come here!”
“Sasha, please come, my love!”
“Sashaaaa… look what I have – chicken treats!”
And when Sasha finally does come, we feel quite pleased with ourselves, convinced that we can control another species to perfection. But really, who is in charge here? Somewhere along the evolutionary timeline, the species that once hunted mammoths is now negotiating with a twelve-kilogram spaniel to take ten indifferent steps in their direction. Dogs must find this fascinating!
Humans Take Themselves Very Seriously
Dogs are refreshingly free of this burden. They can lose an argument with another dog at 10:00 am and be friends again by 10:02am! Humans, on the other hand, can remember an insult from 1998 with astonishing clarity. In the human world, when there is a problem, we write letters to the editor, hire lawyers, shout about it on social media, and generally begin planning a lifetime vengeance programme. But in the world of dogs, if a dog has a problem with another dog, they might snap, bark, or have a brief scuffle, and then shake it off and move on. Humans replay the scene in their heads for twenty-five years. Dogs, it seems, prefer resolution. Humans prefer litigation. From a canine perspective, this must seem like an exhausting way to live.
Humans Think Dogs Want to Be Human
“I am his mummy,” a client informs me proudly. “My dog is my fur baby.” “My poochie is my daughter.” And once, quite seriously: “Please don’t call him a dog. He is my child.” In today’s world we refer to ourselves as pet parents. The old term ‘dog owner’ is considered offensive and rude! And we take it a step further by making our dogs wear clothes, have their names on nameplates outside the house, celebrate elaborate birthdays, and even get them gifts on Valentine’s Day.
Many people seem convinced that their dogs think just like us humans. But they do not! They are perfectly content being dogs. They enjoy smells we cannot tolerate, investigate things we would never touch, and pursue life with an enthusiasm that would probably embarrass most dinner guests. In fact, if dogs could express an opinion on the matter, they might gently point out that being a dog is already a perfectly good arrangement. If anything, they seem quietly puzzled that humans spend so much effort trying to turn them into something they were never meant to be.
And Yet… They Stay With Us
For all our contradictions, mixed signals and elaborate emotional dramas, dogs seem to have reached a generous conclusion about humans: we are probably still worth living with. They adapt to our strange schedules, our shifting moods, and our rules that change from day to day. They watch us rushing through life, worrying about things that seem entirely irrelevant to them. And somehow, they adjust. As I finish writing this article, I glance over at Maya. Her toy has somehow found its way under the sofa again, and she is drawing in a deep breath in preparation for another round of barking. As she looks at me expectantly and wags her tail, I am reminded once again who’s really running the show!
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