Money is far more than just a means to buy things – it carries deep emotional, psychological and social significance. Yet, many of us rarely stop to reflect on why we think, feel, or behave a certain way around money. The truth is, much of our adult relationship with money is influenced by the experiences we had as children. Over my years as a clinical psychologist, I have observed that childhood experiences often serve as the blueprint for how we earn, spend, save and even worry about money as adults.

Family Dynamics: The First Teachers of Money

From the moment children are old enough to notice, families act as the first instructors of financial behaviour. Parents’ attitudes toward money – whether cautious, anxious, indulgent or pragmatic – surely leave an imprint. For instance, a child who grows up in a household where money is a constant source of stress may internalize financial anxiety. Such children often carry a deep-seated fear of scarcity into adulthood, even when their actual financial situation is stable.

Conversely, children who witness parents budgeting wisely, discussing financial decisions openly, and saving for future goals often grow up with a sense of financial security and confidence. It’s not just explicit lessons, like teaching a child to save pocket money, that matter. Subtle comments like, “We can’t afford this,” or “Money doesn’t grow on trees” can unconsciously shape beliefs that linger into adulthood.

Emotional Connections to Money

Our emotional experiences around money in childhood often dictate adult financial habits. For example, children who were frequently rewarded with gifts for achievements may develop a link between self-worth and financial success. Those who experienced deprivation or witnessed financial instability might equate money with safety, control or emotional security.

I recall a client who grew up in a family where indulgence was rare, and money was strictly rationed. As an adult, she became extremely frugal, often avoiding reasonable spending for herself and feeling guilt even when treating herself. Through therapy, we traced this behaviour to her childhood experiences of scarcity. By gradually introducing her to mindful spending and helping her separate worth from wealth, she began developing a healthier, more balanced relationship with money.

Cultural and Social Influences

In India, cultural context significantly shapes financial beliefs. Many Indian families prioritize savings over investment, emphasize collective financial responsibilities, or encourage stable government jobs as the ideal path. While these values provide security, they can also lead to unconscious limitations, such as feeling guilty about financial independence, being hesitant to take entrepreneurial risks, or associating wealth with moral compromise. Social comparisons also come into play. Growing up in a society that places high value on material markers of success like owning a car or a home can create pressures that influence spending habits and self-perception, often starting in childhood.

The encouraging truth is that childhood money patterns are not destiny. Awareness is the first step toward change. Reflecting on early money experiences helps identify beliefs that may be limiting or counterproductive.

Practical strategies include:

Journaling Money Emotions: Track spending triggers and emotional responses to money.

Reframing Beliefs: Replace: “I must save everything” or “I don’t deserve to spend” with balanced alternatives.

Mindful Financial Habits: Budgeting, conscious spending, and setting financial goals can reshape behaviour over time.

For instance, adults who tend to overspend as a coping mechanism – often rooted in childhood comfort-seeking – can practice intentional spending or find non-financial ways to soothe themselves, such as hobbies, mindfulness or exercise. Slowly, these habits overwrite old patterns, allowing one to develop a healthier financial identity.

To conclude, let us understand that childhood experiences are powerful architects of our financial mindset. Understanding this connection enables us to navigate money not as a source of stress or guilt but as a tool for empowerment and personal growth. By reflecting on the past, embracing conscious financial habits, and gently reshaping limiting beliefs, we can cultivate a money mindset that blends security, abundance and emotional well-being – a mindset that truly serves us in adulthood.

[Psychologist Mehezabin Dordi practices at Sir H N Reliance Foundation Hospital, provides effective therapeutic interventions for psychological and psychiatric concerns. Having counselled over 2,500 patients and caregivers, she also conducts trainings and webinars. Connect: dordi.mehezabin@gmail.com]