– Because growing up also means growing beyond –

There are a few truths in life that remain unquestioned. The earth turns, day yields to night, and every life begins in a mother’s womb. Equally undeniable is the quiet, sustaining force of a mother’s love, a presence so constant and life-giving that it shapes who we are long before we learn to understand it. No bond is stronger than the one you share with your mother, no instinct fiercer than her primal need to protect. The force of motherhood supersedes all laws of the universe.

Much of who we become is quietly shaped by our mothers. The path we walk is often influenced by the journey we share with them, and just as deeply, by the one they began long before we came into this world. To truly understand a person, what drives them, what defines them, one must look beyond the present into their past, and more importantly, into the woman who raised them. The echoes of that influence are rarely distant. As they say, the apple does not fall too far from the tree.

Nine times out of ten, your personality, behavior, habits are nothing short of a mini clone of your mothers. If she exhibited a controlling streak, you probably have it too. If she was bold, optimistic, fierce, you would be too. Learned patterns are picked up, ever so often, from the family dynamics your mother was essentially exposed to. So, in turn you imbibed those and call it normal behavior.

That borderline obsessive compulsive disorder you are mocked about, guess where you got it from? Now, I am not here to cut those Gordian knots, nor contest that the umbilical cord was cut when you had your first showdown with mummy and won the battle. But to win that ‘war of Independence’, that’s another matter entirely! Your independence and assertion to free will from her could still be a long way off!

Whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, you are more like your mother than you’d like to admit. It’s not just the genetics you’ve inherited, but also your emotional quotient and maturity. You could choose to gloss over those disadvantages or you could enhance the positives to favour you and shine and sparkle, just like she does. You’ve got yourself big shoes to fill. They could be hers or they could be yours. But fill them, you must. All shiny, new and higher than she ever dared to walk in.

As we grow older (not always wiser), we must know that our parents did the best they could, with the best they knew. We can learn and grow, or just choose ridiculous imitation and habit, whether it’s right or wrong. Walk the same path they did and end up just where they did. Every generation has a duty to enhance and outgrow the limitations they were handed out or live by the rules and the shadows of a legacy that becomes yours, just by birth.

It’s not necessary to love all the people she loves, and dislike all the ones she does. If chocolate is her favorite cake, Basque cheesecake could be yours. If every fight you pick and every struggle you have, is with her in your corner as your Wing-woman, then you’ve still got a long way to go. Just because she says, “I know what’s best for you”, doesn’t always make it so. The truth is 99% of the time, she jolly well could be. But that 1% is when you learn to make decisions for yourself and grow smarter, all on your own.

A mother’s love is your one sure guarantee, in a world that’s uncertain. No matter where you are, or what you do, she’s sure to be there. One step ahead (or behind), depending on the kind of Mamma bear she is. Your first step, your first fall, your first crush, your first love… she was there and always around. Nothing and no one can possibly keep her away from you. Your business is her business. Your friends – her friends. Whether she’s just crazy or crazy about you, give her an inch and she’ll take over. She’ll plan your wedding with all the bells and whistles, unwittingly sabotage your honeymoon, in fact, she’ll just plain take over your life, like it’s all hers to begin with!

Emulating your mother is good. Being like your mother is great. But know this, that your mother the superwoman she is, is human too. You see her differently, through rose-tinted glasses of filial devotion, adoration. And sometimes when you open your mouth and your mother comes out, remind yourself that all that we see, learn and are taught from childhood may not always be the absolute truth. Sometimes you may have to unlearn what you’ve learnt to be the bigger, better version – not only for yourself but for her too!