Every Parsi family is like a long-running sitcom that refuses to get cancelled. The cast never changes, the storylines repeat every Navroz, and everyone has been typecast for life. There’s the dependable one who remembers birthdays, the one who arrives fashionably late to a funeral, the accidental chaos machine who can spill raspberry on a white sofa without trying and the family comedian who can make everyone laugh even during a heated debate over whose dhansak is superior.

The funniest part? Nobody chooses their role. Somewhere during childhood, your family quietly stamped a label on your forehead and it has followed you ever since. Twenty years later, you’re still introduced as, “This is Kayo… remember? He once locked himself inside your bathroom.”

So, what exactly is your official family reputation? Answer the following questions honestly. After all, your relatives already know the truth… your Parsi family has already decided who you are… even if you haven’t!

1. You’re invited for lunch at 1:00 pm. You arrive…

A. At 12:35. Someone has to help lay the table.
B. At 2:10 with a magnificent excuse nobody believes.
C. At exactly 1:00… in your dreams.

2. Your mother calls your name in THAT voice…

A. You immediately report for duty.
B. You pretend you didn’t hear until she says your full name.
C. You first ask your sibling, “What did you do?”

3. A family secret accidentally slips out. Everyone immediately looks at…

A. You, because you’re trusted.
B. You, because you definitely told someone.
C. You, because you’re already laughing.

4. During a wedding, your main responsibility is…

A. Helping elderly relatives find their seats.
B. Sampling desserts before everyone else.
C. Watching family politics unfold like a Netflix series.

 5. Someone says, “Don’t touch that.”

A. You nod respectfully and move away.
B. Five minutes later, it’s somehow broken.
C. You ask, “What happens if I do?”

 6. The family WhatsApp group sees 186 unread messages. You…

A. Read every single one.
B. Skip straight to the photographs.
C. Reply with one laughing emoji and disappear.

 7. Your suitcase for a two-day holiday contains…

A. A perfectly organised packing list.
B. Six outfits and no toothbrush.
C. Snacks for half the train compartment.

 8. Someone has misplaced the house keys.

A. You calmly begin searching.
B. You remember you moved them “somewhere safe.”
C. You immediately blame the househelp.

9. At every gathering, you are usually…

A. Refilling everyone’s tea.
B. Telling stories that get funnier every year.
C. Accidentally creating a new family legend.

10. Your family describes you as…

A. “Without this person we’d all collapse.”
B. “We never know what’s coming next.”
C. “Very nice… but keep an eye on them.”

 11. A child starts crying.

A. You comfort the child.
B. You make funny faces until everyone’s laughing.
C. The child cries louder after seeing you.

 12. You borrow something from a relative.

A. You return it cleaner than before.
B. You return it six months later.
C. Everyone has accepted it’s gone forever.

 13. When guests are leaving…

A. You help pack leftovers into steel dabbas.
B. You’re still eating custard.
C. You’ve accidentally taken someone else’s footwear.

 14. During a family argument, you…

A. Calm everyone down.
B. Add one hilarious comment that makes everyone laugh.
C. Somehow become the topic of discussion.

15. If your family had to describe you in one sentence…

A. “Thank God we have this one.”
B. “Life would be boring without this one.”
C. “We love this one… but insurance premiums have gone up.”

The RESULTS for ‘Your Official Family Reputation’. If you’ve chosen:

Mostly A’s – The Family’s Human Instruction Manual: You are the one everyone phones first. You know where the passports are, whose medicine needs refilling, which cousin is arriving from Toronto and which aunty refuses coriander. Family functions would probably collapse without your spreadsheets, reminders and emergency safety pins. Secretly, everyone depends on you far more than they’ll ever admit. The only downside? While everyone else enjoys dessert, you’re still making sure Freny mamaiji has found her spectacles, lost for the fourth time in the evening!

Mostly B’s – The Family Entertainment Department: Congratulations! You are the reason family gatherings never become boring. Your stories improve with every retelling, your timing is impeccable, and even the grumpiest uncle eventually starts laughing around you. You have mastered the fine art of making fun of yourself before anyone else gets the chance. The family might occasionally roll their eyes when you begin with, “Listen to what happened yesterday…” but within minutes, everyone is wiping away tears of laughter. You’re the unofficial morale officer of the family!

Mostly C’s – The Legend They’ll Be Talking About in 2046: Every family needs one unforgettable character, and apparently, it’s you. You have an astonishing ability to create chaos without any malicious intent. If something can fall, spill, disappear, explode, or get accidentally gifted to the wrong person, somehow you’re nearby. Yet nobody stays angry for long because your disasters become family folklore. Future generations will hear stories beginning with, “Do you remember the time…” and somehow, you’ll be the punchline. Frankly, family gatherings would be far less entertaining without you!

So… whether you’re the dependable organiser, the family comedian, or the lovable walking catastrophe, remember this: every Parsi family runs on affection, loud opinions, unsolicited advice, endless cups of choi and at least one person everyone blames for absolutely everything!

If this quiz reminded you of yourself, congratulations. If it reminded you of six different relatives, even better!! Pass it around the family and prepare for the inevitable chorus of, “Arrey! This is exactly you!” followed immediately by, “No, no… it’s YOU!” That’s when you’ll know the quiz has done its job! Sal Mubarak!!