On a trip to Chiang Mai in North Thailand last year to attend a seminar on Buddhism, I met a Japanese lady who owns six dogs back home in Asakusa. “They are not dogs. They are my children,” she said. She showed me photographs of all six and told me how she takes them to special Doggie beauty parlours for their grooming, the special gourmet food she orders for them, the restaurants she takes them to, the real-diamond pendants she buys for their satin-ribbon they wear on the neck, designer footwear and raincoats, their yoga-classes and so on!
I suddenly had an ‘Aha moment’ as I took notes from her so that someday I could make this conversation into an interesting article for one of the papers I write for. That someday is ‘today’ and the paper is Parsi Times. So sit comfortably on your favourite easy-chair or sofa and read on. And by the time you’re done reading this article, you’ll be green with envy! Don’t take my word for it…

For Japan’s dogs, it’s a life that makes you green (like, The Hulk) with envy. Like their owners, they are small, polite and spoilt beyond belief. A pet fashion boutique in Asakusa offers doggie designer raincoats, hats, ribbons, bows, real diamond jewellery, pendants, tuxedos, wedding dresses, jump suits, swimwear, moisturising creams for their fur, emerald-studded dog collars and footwear. Footwear? “Yes!!” said my friend, explaining that dogs who stay at home all day on soft carpets have very soft paws and soles, which may crack when you take them out. Hence, the special footwear!

My Japanese friend further informed me that some departmental stores in Yokohama offer special chocolates and ice-creams which are made specially for their palates and will not lead to any illness or loss of fur. Then there are doggie dating services on TV channels, doggie marriage-counsellors (oh, please spare us!), portrait studios and a company specialising in doggie funerals!

In New York, I’ve seen owners clean up their doggie’s poo on a morning walk, but in Japan, specially in cities and big towns, dogs wear pampers, so they don’t litter. In Tokyo’s Niko-Sheraton Hotel, there are special rooms for pets at over U.S. $ 300 per night. Manager Kiko Akutsu, says in their brochure, “Dogs are also our guests just as the owners are. We prepare gourmet meals for the dogs and provide special bathtubs, shampoos, perfumes, massages, pedicures, hair-styling, designer outfits, low-calorie dinners and yoga classes.”

Yoga? Yes. According to Akutsu, “Today’s dogs lead very stressful lives like their owners, since both live in tiny apartments, get no experience and have no friends. So we teach yoga to doggies the same way you teach them to sit or fetch with repetitions, reprimands and rewards. If dogs still show signs of neurotic behaviour, we send them to animal psychiatrist for counselling where the owners have to shell out fixed fees plus cost of sleeping pills, tranquillisers and hypnotism. I also learnt from Mrs. Masuda that in big cities like Tokyo, Osaka, Yokohama and some others, dogs watch TV, go to posh restaurants with their owners, and have other dogs over for parties and are taken to beauty parlours for grooming and spas for relaxing.

If you are laughing your guts out at the Japs and their craze for dogs, some of my Indian friends are no better. A lady calls her pet canine, “Dinki, my son”, and she already has a son called Dinshaw, whose pet name is Dinsi. Whenever she phones, there’s a comedy of errors, as I am not able to make-out whether she is referring to her two-legged or four four-legged son. Another friend keeps foreign chocolates in her refrigerator exclusively for her doggie, which her poor hubby is not allowed to touch. I am sure this man will envy the doggies of Japan after reading this.

Psst!! Wanna become a millionaire in a jiffy? Become a doggie psychiatrist in Yokohama. But if you go nuts doing your job, please note: This paper is in no way responsible – me neither, nor Anahita!