Meherbai’s Mandli Goes Down Memory Lane

Meherbai gave a ‘Nostalgia Party’ for her Mandli and even served nostalgic food, like Kumas, Saandhra, Popatji, Malido, Varadh-varaa, Taari-Na-Bhakhra, Khaman-Ladoos, which hardly anyone prepares these days.


Keki Khadro: Meherbai, I haven’t had breakfast today, so can we have an early lunch?

Meherbai: You mean brunch?

Keki: Brunch, punch, bunch, lunch – call it what you want!

Keki’s Khadhri Wife: Give your empty tiffin to Meherbai for the leftovers.

Meherbai: Keki-bhai, your huge tiffin can feed an army. I don’t think we’ll have so many leftovers. I’ll give you whatever remains.


Keks did house-full justice to the brunch and also got a huge take-away from generous Meherbai.

Kek’s wife: What about repairing the mouth (monu-samarva)?


 Meherbai brought out home-made, hand-churned ice-cream for everyone.

Banu Batak: We used to get the best mango ice-cream at Nana Chowk’s Jai-hind ice-cream parlour when we stayed at Grant RoadI used to go with my various college-friends, who always treated me, but I never treated anyone in return. I am so smart, no?

Alamai Eienstein: You never treat anyone from the Mandli even today, though you have left Grant Road. You can take a girl out of Grant Road, but you can’t take Grant Road out of the girl! You are just the same!

Meherwanji: Most of us had our primary education in Gujarati medium school, so luckily, even today, we can read and write in our mother-tongue! Today’s kids are most unfortunate as their parents have neither the time nor the inclination to teach Gujarati.

Dorabji Dolo (H/o of Coomi Combiflam): Arrey Mehella, today’s kids read their Navjote prayers in English and once the Navjote is done, they forget how to pray. Sad. Very sad!

Vaki Doki na Vikaji: Aban, mahari Jaan, if you marry me, I’ll give you a cricket team and even teach all our children Gujarati from pit to pat.

Abhaan Aban: Try learning some English first!!

Vikaji: Even my English is pit to pat. Listen to my home-made Nursery rhymes. So original and so much better than that Shakespeare fellow. Samjho:

                  Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water,

                  Jill forgot to take the pill, and now they have a daughter!

Baji Bun-Pao: Wah Wah! Even I compose couplets which are better than the Japanese Haiku poems. Samjho:

            Mary had a little lamb… the Gynecs were surprised!

Freny Fatakri: Baji, you are a pervert – not a poet.

Baji Bun Pao: Sorry, maaf karo! Now just listen to this: London Bridge is falling down…

Keks wife: Nonsense. It was perfectly alright only last month when I visited London with my boy-friend! 

Nancy the Fancy: Tisket-a-tasket, my green and yellow basket!

Keks Khadhro: That’s not a basket. It’s my green and yellow meli-gheli-bajar-ni-theli, which I always carry everywhere for leftovers.

Vaki Doki na Vikaji: Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?

Lovejibhai Lamba: No Sir, No Sir. My wife Banoo Batak has already made a sweater out of that for her boyfriend Behram from that wool, after making me a fool. My wedlock has become a deadlock!

Coomi Kaajwali: Serves you right, you cradle-snatcher, for marrying someone young enough to be your daughter. Your malido must be dead by now!

Alamai Einstein: Marerey, Coomimai doesn’t know the difference between libido and malido!

Vaki Doki Na Vicaji: Aban my Jaan, now you say a lovey-dovey Nursery rhyme for me. I beg you!

Abbhan Aban: Twinkle Twinkle little star, Do you know what you are?                   

                           If you know what you are, the mad-house is not very far!

Vikaji: Oh Khodaiji! My heart is completely broken!

Anahita Andoos: Someone give fevicol to Vikaji to mend his heart!

Fali Fekologist: In our childhood, there was no TV, Fridge, Cell-Phone or even a land-line. We played innocent games (or was it moronic games?) like Kakaria Kumar, Taj-Khalloo-Pigion-Savak, Ekka-Par-Char, Nak-Tipki etc.

Meherwanji: We had so much leisure unlike today’s children, who are stressed-out! Trouble is, parents themselves are stressed and invariably they pass it on to their children.

Meherbai: I agree. Parents must first heal themselves before having a child. There are no problem children. Only problem parents who have no time to raise their kids. I speak as a therapist and a family-counsellor.

Humerous Homai: Let’s have some Gujarati jokes. I’ll start:

Gujju boy: I love you.

Gujju girl: I already have three serious love affairs!

Gujju boy: Jo ne, haji ek adjust thatu hoi toh!!

Sheroo Sten-gun: A good joke! Hasya tena ghar vasya.

Much married Munchershaw: Gher vasya pachi ketla hasya? After marriage, husband nu hasva-nu bandh – that’s why he is called Has-Bandh!

Tehmul Tarzan: Gujarati is a confusing language. The other day, I asked a Fatakri in Cusrow Baug, “What is the secret of your slim and trim figure?” She replied in all seriousness, “Hoon bahu chaloo chhoo”. I was very confused that she described herself in such bad terms until my friend Shapur Sapat explained that what she meant was, that she ‘walks a lot’.

Alamai Anaconda:  Soo navi junni khabar chey, Munchershaw?

Manchershaw: No khabar. Only status quo! Navi aavti nathi, aney junni jati nathi!!

Dolly Ding Dong:  Navi Khabar is, last week, I attended my friend’s dog – Rufus’s birthday-party celebrating his sixth birthday. There was champagne, a three-tier cake and exquisite global food!

Lovejibhai Lambo: Lucky dog! My Banoo Batak never celebrates my birthday.

Dolly Ding Dong: That’s because you are her husband and not her dog!

Meherwanji: Let’s not get personal please. As it is, Lovejibhai is already in a deadlock-wedlock situation. Only last week he attempted suicide from his ground-floor window. You see, he stood on the window’s edge and Batak cried, “Don’t do this. We still have many more years of togetherness.” Khallas!!  That was like a trigger and he jumped out.

Coomi Kaajwali: She shouldn’t have scared him with her words!! Besides, our Lovejibhai is very Fituri. He threatens suicide daily, saying “I’ll jump out of the window.” So clever Batak has placed a huge Dunlop nu Godru just below their ground floor window!! The colony boys think Lovejibhai is a gymnast, doing acrobatics!

Everyone burst out laughing and on this note, the Mandli parted with “Ta-Ta-Bye-Bye” and Kissi-Koti!

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