Meherbai gave a ‘Nostalgia Party’ for her Mandli and even served nostalgic food, like Kumas, Saandhra, Popatji, Malido, Varadh-varaa, Taari-Na-Bhakhra, Khaman-Ladoos, which hardly anyone prepares these days.
Keki Khadro: Meherbai, I haven’t had breakfast today, so can we have an early lunch?
Meherbai: You mean brunch?
Keki: Brunch, punch, bunch, lunch – call it what you want!
Keki’s Khadhri Wife: Give your empty tiffin to Meherbai for the leftovers.
Meherbai: Keki-bhai, your huge tiffin can feed an army. I don’t think we’ll have so many leftovers. I’ll give you whatever remains.
Keks did house-full justice to the brunch and also got a huge take-away from generous Meherbai.
Kek’s wife: What about repairing the mouth (monu-samarva)?
Meherbai brought out home-made, hand-churned ice-cream for everyone.
Banu Batak: We used to get the best mango ice-cream at Nana Chowk’s Jai-hind ice-cream parlour when we stayed at Grant Road. I used to go with my various college-friends, who always treated me, but I never treated anyone in return. I am so smart, no?
Alamai Eienstein: You never treat anyone from the Mandli even today, though you have left Grant Road. You can take a girl out of Grant Road, but you can’t take Grant Road out of the girl! You are just the same!
Meherwanji: Most of us had our primary education in Gujarati medium school, so luckily, even today, we can read and write in our mother-tongue! Today’s kids are most unfortunate as their parents have neither the time nor the inclination to teach Gujarati.
Dorabji Dolo (H/o of Coomi Combiflam): Arrey Mehella, today’s kids read their Navjote prayers in English and once the Navjote is done, they forget how to pray. Sad. Very sad!
Vaki Doki na Vikaji: Aban, mahari Jaan, if you marry me, I’ll give you a cricket team and even teach all our children Gujarati from pit to pat.
Abhaan Aban: Try learning some English first!!
Vikaji: Even my English is pit to pat. Listen to my home-made Nursery rhymes. So original and so much better than that Shakespeare fellow. Samjho:
Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water,
Jill forgot to take the pill, and now they have a daughter!
Baji Bun-Pao: Wah Wah! Even I compose couplets which are better than the Japanese Haiku poems. Samjho:
Mary had a little lamb… the Gynecs were surprised!
Freny Fatakri: Baji, you are a pervert – not a poet.
Baji Bun Pao: Sorry, maaf karo! Now just listen to this: London Bridge is falling down…
Keks wife: Nonsense. It was perfectly alright only last month when I visited London with my boy-friend!
Nancy the Fancy: Tisket-a-tasket, my green and yellow basket!
Keks Khadhro: That’s not a basket. It’s my green and yellow meli-gheli-bajar-ni-theli, which I always carry everywhere for leftovers.
Vaki Doki na Vikaji: Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool?
Lovejibhai Lamba: No Sir, No Sir. My wife Banoo Batak has already made a sweater out of that for her boyfriend Behram from that wool, after making me a fool. My wedlock has become a deadlock!
Coomi Kaajwali: Serves you right, you cradle-snatcher, for marrying someone young enough to be your daughter. Your malido must be dead by now!
Alamai Einstein: Marerey, Coomimai doesn’t know the difference between libido and malido!
Vaki Doki Na Vicaji: Aban my Jaan, now you say a lovey-dovey Nursery rhyme for me. I beg you!
Abbhan Aban: Twinkle Twinkle little star, Do you know what you are?
If you know what you are, the mad-house is not very far!
Vikaji: Oh Khodaiji! My heart is completely broken!
Anahita Andoos: Someone give fevicol to Vikaji to mend his heart!
Fali Fekologist: In our childhood, there was no TV, Fridge, Cell-Phone or even a land-line. We played innocent games (or was it moronic games?) like Kakaria Kumar, Taj-Khalloo-Pigion-Savak, Ekka-Par-Char, Nak-Tipki etc.
Meherwanji: We had so much leisure unlike today’s children, who are stressed-out! Trouble is, parents themselves are stressed and invariably they pass it on to their children.
Meherbai: I agree. Parents must first heal themselves before having a child. There are no problem children. Only problem parents who have no time to raise their kids. I speak as a therapist and a family-counsellor.
Humerous Homai: Let’s have some Gujarati jokes. I’ll start:
Gujju boy: I love you.
Gujju girl: I already have three serious love affairs!
Gujju boy: Jo ne, haji ek adjust thatu hoi toh!!
Sheroo Sten-gun: A good joke! Hasya tena ghar vasya.
Much married Munchershaw: Gher vasya pachi ketla hasya? After marriage, husband nu hasva-nu bandh – that’s why he is called Has-Bandh!
Tehmul Tarzan: Gujarati is a confusing language. The other day, I asked a Fatakri in Cusrow Baug, “What is the secret of your slim and trim figure?” She replied in all seriousness, “Hoon bahu chaloo chhoo”. I was very confused that she described herself in such bad terms until my friend Shapur Sapat explained that what she meant was, that she ‘walks a lot’.
Alamai Anaconda: Soo navi junni khabar chey, Munchershaw?
Manchershaw: No khabar. Only status quo! Navi aavti nathi, aney junni jati nathi!!
Dolly Ding Dong: Navi Khabar is, last week, I attended my friend’s dog – Rufus’s birthday-party celebrating his sixth birthday. There was champagne, a three-tier cake and exquisite global food!
Lovejibhai Lambo: Lucky dog! My Banoo Batak never celebrates my birthday.
Dolly Ding Dong: That’s because you are her husband and not her dog!
Meherwanji: Let’s not get personal please. As it is, Lovejibhai is already in a deadlock-wedlock situation. Only last week he attempted suicide from his ground-floor window. You see, he stood on the window’s edge and Batak cried, “Don’t do this. We still have many more years of togetherness.” Khallas!! That was like a trigger and he jumped out.
Coomi Kaajwali: She shouldn’t have scared him with her words!! Besides, our Lovejibhai is very Fituri. He threatens suicide daily, saying “I’ll jump out of the window.” So clever Batak has placed a huge Dunlop nu Godru just below their ground floor window!! The colony boys think Lovejibhai is a gymnast, doing acrobatics!
Everyone burst out laughing and on this note, the Mandli parted with “Ta-Ta-Bye-Bye” and Kissi-Koti!