The Mandli boys and girls, all over 80 and full of energy and enthusiasm, met at Meherbai’s gymkhana to decide how they would celebrate Jamshedi Navroz.

Meherwanji: This year, Navroz is on Thursday-Friday, on week-days, and there’s no bank-holiday! Besides, Fridays are for the latest Bollywood movie press-shows, since my Meherbai writes film-reviews on-line in her own humorous style, especially when tearing down a bad film to shreds!

So, after the press-show, we could all meet for lunch.

Neville-the-unmarried-lucky-Devil: How routine, humdrum and ho-hum! We do exotic lunches every Saturday at various clubs, right from US. Club in Colaba to Otter’s and ‘the-club’ in the suburbs!!

Vikaji-Vasco-da-Gama: l like to be always on the move. Apreh toh farnaar-harnaar wala log. Let’s go mall-ratting. We can walk, do window-shopping, have a good lunch, and then see a movie – all in one day! ‘Mauja-hi-mauja’, as that famous song goes!

Jabri Jaalu: My darling jeebharu takes me mall-ratting every week, of course, under duress. l buy things from Zara, Saphora and Aldo while my jeebharu pays by credit card. l never carry a handbag. l only carry my husband wherever l go!

Rarti Rutty: Husband chey ke ATM nu machine chey?! l so envy you! My bitter-half, Kekobad-kanjoos, never buys me a thing! He just sits at a coffee shop, reading papers and playing with his phone! His only words at a mall are, “How many more clothes, shoes, handbags, sunglasses and perfumes do you need??? Dukaan kholvani chey soo???”

Dolly-Daahi-Kaagri: Kekobad bawa, don’t be ‘bad’ like the three last letters of your name! Don’t you know that a woman can never have enough clothes, shoes and other goodies?! Learn from my husband. He buys me everything l want, even if l don’t want it, saying, “Just shop till you drop!!” Last Valentine’s Day, he surprised me with red roses, heart-shaped chocolates and a silk-scarf!

The Mandli Boys: Bairi no margho!! Bijaa husbands ney kharaab lagaarej! Bairion ne baghaarej!!

Frustrated Farida: I wish my hubby was also like that! He thinks he is Trump! He sacked our ganga because she was an illegal immigrant from Bangladesh!! And if that wasn’t enough, he then gave me a beautifully gift-wrapped jhaadu for Valentine’s Day and said, “Here, this is a present you can use daily!”

Dolly-Daahi-Kaagri: How absolutely unromantic! I have an idea!! Let’s go to Lonavala on Navroz! We will do lunch there and the return at night!

Pilamai Pumpkin: Marerey! Sitting the whole day in the car on Navroz! How silly!!

Meherwanji: How about an exotic Chinese lunch?

Soli-Sali-Boti: But l hate noodle-na-labatra. l only like my Parsi bhonu and have it very often by barging into various venues wearing a dagli and feto! I have now been doing that for years. But unfortunately, lately, l got knocked down by a groom who entered his own wedding on a motor-bike!! l was bruised all over, but still l sat for the bhonu because he said, “Sorry bhai, please jaminey jajo!” Then there was another wedding some days later, and again l fell down flat on my nose because this time the groom entered doing gymnastics and kicked me! He also said, “Sorry bhai, jaroor jaminey jajo!” And so, again l ate the bhonu though l felt like a wounded soldier.

Meherbai: And what about the pehramni for these weddings you’ve been crashing?

Soli-Sali-Boti: Arre! What pehramni?? Why give any pehramni when they never invited me! l invite myself because Modiji says, “Be atma-nirbhar!”

Meherwanji: Stop deviating! Now let’s please get back on track and decide about the 21^st!

Dear readers, even as this Jamshedi Navroz bumper special issue goes to print, the Mandli hasn’t decided and l can bet my last rupee, that even as you read this on 15^th March, they’ll still be deciding where to go and what to do on Navroz! Do send in your suggestions!! And have a Happy Jamshedi Navroz!!