How very often do we hear Rudyard Kipling’s quote, “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers,” and other similar sayings celebrating the unparalleled importance and irreplaceable significance of a mother. 

Mothers are more to us than our bestest friends or siblings or fathers or grandparents. Her unconditional loving and giving starts with sharing her very life force, when she nurtures her baby in her womb, giving it her nutrients and energy. What makes her even more special is the sharing and giving just keeps increasing! She shares her feelings, her love and her emotions. She gives it all, and without a blink!  

I knew of a child, Jehan, who grew up in a simple middle-class income home with both parents working hard to provide for the family of three. Though the parents led a stringent life, they tried their best to give Jehan everything they possibly could. One day, Jehan fell sick and needed to be shown to a specialist. The doctor broke the devastating news that Jehan had a mal-functioning kidney and was in need of a transplant. Without batting an eyelid, the mother instantly said, “Take mine, please don’t hesitate,” while the husband and doctor were still coming to terms with the reaction! Only a mother can be so selfless. Luckily, Jehan got a donor and today is a well-settled, young adult. But he will never forget the day his mother was so ready to risk her life and make the sacrifice for him!

Mothers are known for their indomitable mettle. Single mothers invariably face a lot of flak, grief even, and are often blamed for staying away from their spouses, especially when their children are very young and they’re struggling to balance the job and the child. Lending a patient ear, instead of the unwarranted criticism, would make things a lot easier for them.

Mothers usually tend to be the shield for children, protecting them from the wrath of overly strict fathers. They often take up the blame and face the ire of their husbands. A lot of smart children know whom to coddle up to, to get what they want! Butter up the mother a little or bring in an emotional aspect, and she will ask the father or make provisions to give it to the child!

You can never argue with a mother’s intuition – that strong inner compass will just know if something is not right; she can sense if her child is in danger. However, this is sometimes misconstrued as being too possessive or controlling of her children. Understandable, it is difficult for mothers to just ‘let go’, after being an intrinsic part of their child’s life for so long! It’s difficult for her to let a child make mistakes or learn the hard way – she feels a sense of guilt and inadequacy at the child’s failure, immaterial of the age of her child! 

One of the toughest things a mother does in life, is taking a step back from her children’s lives and letting them be independent. She simply cannot help herself – it’s wired! Any pain or suffering that affects her child, invariably affects her. So, all you children out there – Wake up!! And give thanks for the mother that you have been blessed with! The unfortunate who have been denied this divine privilege will tell you how it feels. 

Many mommies do not mind kissing their grown-up sons in public and talking about how she changed his diapers or how her children ran round nude in the lawns! We find these stories embarrassing or dated. Laugh it off. For you, it’s something you’d prefer not discussed, but to your mother, it is her most precious and priceless memory that she will cherish as long as she lives! If she takes a little time to understand what you say, be patient – give her those extra minutes to comprehend. It’s the least you owe her! If she wants to know where you’re going, it’s not always about inquisitiveness – it’s her way of feeling secure and connected with you. She wants to know because she still cares, though you’re not that 5-year-old kid anymore, and she always will.

Nature works best in balance and harmony. To all the fabulous mothers out there, do something more with your lives, if time permits! It is great to be an integral part of your children’s lives, but they will move on to lead independent lives. And they will want some space to test their wings. 

It is important for every mother to maintain her own individuality as a woman, despite her full-time capacity as a mom! Go out, keep in touch with your own set of friends. Do something to relax or something that you enjoy doing. Find your ‘me time’. Don’t feel lonely if the children aren’t at home – enjoy your alone time instead! And most of all, be proud of what you have done for them. Pat yourself on the back. Even though you may feel you know best for your children, have a little faith in what they have to say. Celebrate new entrants in the form of daughters-in-law, sons-in-law and grandchildren. Be secure within yourselves and there will be no regrets later.

With the ongoing Lockdown and everyone stuck at home all the time, it is easy to end up having spats. And with our mothers being so easily taken for granted, we tend to unload our temper on her. This temporary Lockdown notwithstanding, here are a few ways in which you can improve your relationship with your mother:

• Make a conscious effort to be patient with her and stay as calm as possible. Getting angry or irritated will escalate matters and lead to more fights or arguments.
• Sometimes she may not be able to express herself openly. So, hear her out and try to get ‘what she is not telling you’. Understand what she is actually trying to say! 
• Respect her – NO MATTER WHAT. You will never be able to repay here for giving you life, so if you have to be the bigger person, do it! Do not belittle her.
• If you think she is angry or going off on a tangent, tell her in a calm manner that you cannot have a conversation with her when she is in this frame of mind. If needed, leave the room and tell her that you can chat when she is feeling calmer.
• Never forget that she loves you and never get convinced by anyone otherwise! She loves you unconditionally and that kind of love is hard, nay, impossible to get from anywhere or anyone else, apart from your mother.

A mother’s love and dedication is truly matchless, it’s out of this world… If she could brave every storm for her child, she would; If she could exchange her good health for her child’s failing health, she would; If she could take on all the hardships of her child, she would! 

Here’s sending out heartfelt gratitude to all the mothers who have put in all the efforts and love to make the lives of their children better!

Happy Mother’s Day!