Every year, Meherbai’s Mandli, like the rest of the world, would make high and lofty New Year’s resolutions, but they would go for a toss mostly by the end of January. This year was no different. On the first day of 2025, the Mandli Members had resolved to do things which would enhance life at every level:  physical, mental, emotional and spiritual!! They met at a suburban club last week, and the conversation turned to the New Year’s resolutions which everyone made with great enthusiasm just a month ago:

Soli Saliboti: l’m a complete failure this year but look at the sunny side – my lists of past year’s resolutions are soooooo impressive!!

Freny-Fatakri: Yes, we know! Since the last 7 years, you’ve resolved to lose weight on every 1^st of January but you stuff your face on the 2^nd!

Naju-malai-nu-khaju: Solibawa, remember that the past-tense of eat is ate and the future tense of ate is weight! We find this out when it’s too late!!

Cowsie-Casanova: l hereby nominate Najamai as the poet-laureate of our Mandli. She can give takkar to Shakespeare!!

Rarto Rohan: My list of “Resolutions-Not-Kept” is long like a tapko (horoscope) whereas my wife, hasti-Hilla manages to keep most of her resolves!!

Hasti-Hilla: My jeebharu Rohan can’t even keep a simple resolution like watching less TV, not leaving a wet towel on the bed or shaving everyday. Bakra jevi dahri laine farej! (He moves around with a goat-like beard!)

Henpecked Homiar: My bitter-half Farida Fuvardi is same to same. She forgets her resolve to bathe everyday, shave her moustache, or wear deodorant. Our kanasori, inquisitive, nosey-parker, next -door neighbour, Nanabhai always asks from the window, “Did a kachra-ni-gaari pass by or was it Faridamai?”

Neville Nostradamus: l predict that this year, l won’t fail. l shall keep my resolutions because they’ll be realistic like keep drinking whisky like a fish, eat like a pig, party like mad and laze around the house all day!!

The Mandli-men: Hear-hear!! 3 cheers for Neville, the lucky devil!! Why are we making stupid, unsustainable resolutions year after year, every year, when we can’t keep them? Things like eating sensibly, drinking less, less carbs or getting fitter? Why can’t we just be us? As we are!!

Khushru khadhro: l agree. To hell with resolutions. Why not just enjoy life? Why guarantee our own failure by making resolutions in the first place? My wife forces me to go for art-gallaries, Western music concerts and book-clubs under the guise of resolutions. l don’t want to be a culture-vulture. l’m very happy just being a gher-no-gadhero! Ataa maazi satakli, exactly like Ajay Devgan. Meherbai, please order some greasy samosas, oily bhajiyas and vadas to be washed down with 2 huge Parsi pegs!!

Meherbai did order all that sinful stuff, being a good hostess, while Meherwanji was shocked, and asked, “Whaaaat???” But Meherbai gave him ‘the look’ which said, “lt’s not for us!” Just then, their friend, Mr. Dhanjisha-Doctor and his girlfriend, Kolamai-Compounder walked in and sat next to Homi-Hypochondriac, who related all his real and imaginary illnesses to Dhunjisha, hoping to get a free marathon-consultation.

Dhunjisha: Bawa, thank you for telling me your medical-history for half an hour, but l’m not a medical doctor, only my surname is doctor!!

Dolly-daahi-kaagri: How many of us have still kept their New year’s resolution? Put your hands up!!

Pindrop silence!! Not a single hand. But then, that’s life, or as we say in French, ‘C’est la vie!’ Then Meherbai’s Mandli decided that instead of making resolutions they couldn’t keep, they would just be good Zarthotis and practise moderation. And that ended the get-together on the note of ta-ta, bye-bye and kisi-kota!