Women are special – like a thick spread of butter on taaju pav – they make life richer. But Parsi women are a whole next level of special! Aapri Bawis are a delightful mix of sharp wit, strong opinions, and their undying love for food, second only to their undying love for proving you wrong! They’ll argue like a Supreme Court lawyer, feed you like a loving grandma, judge your tea-making skills like it’s the Olympics and correct your pronunciation – all in one breath! Imagine a mix of Queen Victoria’s stubbornness, Boman Irani’s comic timing, and a Michelin-star chef’s obsession with food! If regular women are diamonds, Parsi women are the Kohinoor – rare, legendary, priceless… (and absolutely convinced it would look better in a different setting!)

Happy Women’s Day, dear fellow Bawas and bawis! Today, we celebrate our Parsi women – those brilliant, hilarious, food-loving, straight-shooting queens who run the show in our lives. Think you know them well? Take this quiz and find out…

1. What’s the most accurate way to describe a Parsi woman’s relationship with food?
2. a) Food is merely sustenance.
   b) She eats to live, not the other way around.
   c) If food were a person, she’d have married it by now.
   d) Just a casual love – nothing serious.

[Correct Answer: (c). Let’s be honest, if there’s palao-daar on the table, all other priorities can wait!]

 How does a true-blue Bawi react to unsolicited advice on her cooking?

2. a) Gracefully accepts feedback.
   b) Nods politely, makes a mental note.
   c) Stares at you as if you’ve personally insulted her ancestors.
   d) Hands you a knife and asks you to cook yourself.

[Correct Answers: (c) and (d) – depending on the severity of the offense. If you have the courage to critique her akoori, you should also have the stamina to run fast!]

3. What is the primary reason Bawis carry portly handbags like it’s a national treasure?
4. a) It contains life’s essentials: fruits, water, napkin, biscuit, umbrella, prayer book and emergency notepad…
   b) It’s a secret weapon in case someone tries to cut in line.
   c) It holds centuries of wisdom and family gossip.
   d) All of the above.

[Correct Answer: (d) All of the above. Do not underestimate the power of a Bawi’s handbag. It’s an enigma wrapped in mystery, which contains everything you need but can never be sourced at the right time!]

4. How does a Bawi let you know she disapproves of your life choices?
5. a) A long, heavy sigh that could shake the foundation of your home.
   b) A casual “Hmmm” laced with judgment.
   c) A full-fledged, five-minute dramatic monologue about how ‘in their time’ things were different.
   d) All of the above, plus the strategic raising of one eyebrow.

[Correct Answer: (d) and (c) If you receive the raised eyebrow, just know – you’ve disappointed generations!]

5. What happens when a Parsi lass spots another Parsi lass in public?
6. a) They exchange a subtle nod and move on.
   b) They immediately call a relative to confirm how they’re related.
   c) They have a full conversation in Gujarati at a volume that ensures the entire street hears.
   d) Both b and c.

[Correct Answer: (d) Within two minutes, they will have connected at least four family members, a common wedding they attended, and a distant cousin who married ‘that questionable boy from Bandra.’]

6. What’s the ultimate Parsi woman response to the phrase ‘Please calm down’?
7. a) “Oh yes, let me just turn off my emotions like a switch.”
   b) “Arrey! I was calm until YOU started talking.”
   c) “WHAT NONSENSE! I AM CALM!” (yelled out!).
   d) All of the above, followed by a rant about how people don’t understand real passion.

[Correct Answer: (d) Telling an angered Bawi to calm down is like telling a peacock to stop being fabulous! Simply impossible!]

7. If aapri lovely Bawi gives you unsolicited advice, what should you do?
8. a) Listen carefully, this is valuable wisdom.
   b) Smile and nod – resistance is futile.
   c) Pretend to take notes to avoid further lectures.
   d) All of the above.

[Correct Answer: (d) She isn’t ‘interfering’ – she’s ‘helping,’ and you will thank her later!]

8. What is the one thing you should NEVER tell a Parsi woman?
9. a) “You should eat less rice.”
   b) “Maybe you should stop arguing.”
   c) “Your kitchen is messy.”
   d) All of the above – unless you enjoy living dangerously.

[Correct Answer: (d) Saying any of these is an open invitation for a dramatic retelling of how you’ve single-handedly ruined her happiness!]

9. How does a Bawi show affection?
10. a) Cooking for you (even if you insist you’re on a diet).
    b) Calling you ‘Ghelsappo’ in the most loving way possible.
    c) Barging into your personal space to fix your collar, hair, or life choices.
    d) All of the above.

[Correct Answer: (d) If she’s correcting you, fussing over you, feeding you or blaming you – it’s love.]

10. How does a Parsi woman handle being wrong?
11. a) By gracefully admitting her mistake.
    b) By acknowledging the other person’s point of view.
    c) By denying it ever happened and changing the topic.
    d) Parsi women are never wrong.

[Correct Answer: (d) If you think she’s wrong, kindly refer to No. 6 and proceed with caution.]

YOUR SCORE:

8-10 correct: Congratulations! You truly understand the magic, power, and quirks of Parsi women. Now go eat some bhakras and celebrate!

5-7 correct: You’re almost there! Spend more time at a Parsi wedding buffet to hone your skills.

0-4 correct: Oh dear. Sit down, let your bapaiji/mamaiji or then an aunty in your colony lecture you, and take notes.

Happy Women’s Day to all the fabulous Parsi women! May your food always be hot, your gossip always juicy, and your eyebrows always perfectly arched. Cheers!