The Mandli boys and girls (all over 80 and full of love, energy and a lust for life) held a high-tea at Meherbai’s club to discuss marriage. Meherbai, being the keynote speaker, spoke first.

Meherbai: I shall begin by saying that marriage is happy, even as life itself is happy, which means that it is infuriating, varied, wonderful, moving, tender, tiresome, desperately hard work, a little comedy, a little tragedy, full of high-highs and low-lows but infinitely worthwhile.

Romantic Rumy: Em? Em? Su vaat karoj! Had I known, I wouldn’t have remained a bachelor so long. Coomimai, please find me a wonder-woman like Meherbai so I can settle down. I feel very unsettled these days.

Coomi Kaajwali: Jovni Bawa, my generation had wonder-women. Today, one has to wonder if it’s a woman, since today’s girls wear boy’s clothes and hairstyles and ride motor-bikes!

Jamshedji genius: My observation of marriage is that if you are wrong and you shut-up, you are a wise man but if you are right and you still shut-up, you are a married man and a very wise one too! But don’t let that scare you Rumi bawa, go ahead and marry.

Rumi: I’ll marry and become successful in life because behind every successful man, there’s a woman!

Bomi Bevdo: True. And behind that woman is your wife, standing with a gun! Men and women by nature are lafrabaaj. Just the other day, I went to a Christian wedding as my mako friend, Paul-Pipyu got married. It’s customary for all guys to kiss the bride, but the bugger on my table didn’t get up, so I asked him, “Have you kissed the bride?” He replied, “Not lately!” So I immediately whispered to Paul-Pipyu that the bride is not chaste. And Paul shot back at me, ‘What man Bomi! There’s no chaste gals left these days! Not even on the Virgin Islands. The only virgin around is the Virgin-Mary cocktail, man!

Koylo Kobad: I second Bomi. My wife has been having a love-affair and I am the joke of the Parsi Colony! So, I

take solace in my grandchildren because everyone says, “enjoy them while you are young.”

Kety-Combiflam: Arrey Keki Bawa, when everyone says “Enjoy them while you are young”, they mean your knees, ankles and all other joints.

Vicaji Vaghmaru: Yesterday, I visited the cemetery with my secretary, Mrs. Pinto whose husband recently expired. For three days I put a red rose on Mr. Pinto’s grave but I found this guy who put a dozen expensive roses every day and cried buckets, yelling “Why did you die? Why did you die?” I felt great pity on him, thinking he had lost his wife and asked him, ‘My good man, why are you crying so much? I can’t bear to see your unhappiness. Who is in that grave?’ He stopped crying and said, ‘My wife’s first husband!”

Temul Tarzan: Marriage is a four-ring circus. First comes the engagement ring. Second is the wedding ring, third is the household-budget on a string and last comes the suffering!

Temul’s Wife, Themina Tarzan: Just look at your bhakhra-jeva-gaal and dhol-jevu-pait. Do you look like a man suffering for the last 54 years with me?

The Mandli: Temulji, you look as happy as your three brothers-in-law, Jolly-jingo, Polly-pingo and Dolly-dingo!

Mrs. Tarzan: Dhabra na utaro ! Man-ma bhaave aney mundi hilaavey!

Themul: Don’t say a word more… Ataa Maazi Satakli!!!

Mrs. Tarzan: Who do you think you are? Ajay Devgan of Singham? Jara jara ma ‘Satakli, Satakli’ karoj? Say it once more and your breakfast, lunch and dinner from tomorrow will be Atakli!

Meherwanji: Guys! Guys! Please stop!

The Mandli: Yes. Mr.& Mrs.Tarzan, please take your Matakli- fights for homework. Please spare us!!

Mr. Tarzan: Not Matakli – it’s Satakli !!

Mrs. Tarzan to Mr. Tarzan: You said it one more time, after I forbade you? Go on a bhook-hartal from tomorrow.

Mr. Tarzan: Arrey Mandli, you added fuel to my already burning marriage and I had to mention Satakli.

Mrs. Tarzan: Paachhoo bolya? Now you are finished!

The Mandli acted like expert marriage-counsellors and gave a lot of unsolicited advice and pacified the couple with Mr. Tarzan saying that in any case, he was starting a sea-food diet from tomorrow.

Mrs. Tarzan: He doesn’t mean fish. He means that he eats whatever he sees. The spelling is See-food and not Sea-food!

Abbhan Aban: By the way, what is Haldi ceremony?

Keks: Being marinated before getting roasted! It happens to most husbands!

Dorabji Dolo: Yesterday I met my school-friend after 55 years and he told me, ‘My wife is an angel.’ I replied, ‘I am not so lucky. My wife is still alive.”  His son is getting married next week. He has invited me to Albless Baug.

Abbhan Aban: But his son’s appendix is chopped off by the doctors, so how will he have children? And what about his Malido?

Coomi Kaajwali: Marerey! She doesn’t know what an appendix is nor the difference between ‘Malido’ and ‘Libido’! She thinks they are the same!

Abbhan Aban: My friend makes it very tasty – Recently I ordered one kilo!

Vicaji: What will Aban the spinster do with one kilo Libido?

Meherbai: Oh my god! This is too much. Let us call it a day while we are still hanging on to some sanity!

And so, the Mandli left with their customary kisi-koti, ta-ta and bye-bye, awaiting their next meet!