It’s extremely difficult coming to terms with the reality of a loved one who decides it’s time to go. A couple of days ago, a long-standing friend made that deadly decision too, leaving behind a trail of shocked, heart-broken family and friends. It will be a while before we find our peace because we’re still trying to find our ground, grappling with the ‘hows’ and the ‘whys’; trying to force-feed ourselves into accepting this dark, dark tragedy; dealing with the pain,the guilt – why didn’t we see it coming? Could we have done something to avert this? If only he’d given some indication he was disturbed, if only he had reached out or spoken to just one of us…
That last sentence above is the reason I’m sharing this extremely personal sense of loss with you. We’re humans – we are genetically social animals. The instinct to communicate is as innate, and crucial, as the instinct to survive. Discernably, both these instincts are intrinsically interlinked, and directly proportional to each other. Talking about your feelings and sharing what’s in your heart, especially if it’s about something that’s hurting you or making you unhappy, is indispensable to good health, and in some unfortunate cases, to survival itself.
Most of us live a hectic, fast-paced life and inadvertently disregard our own feelings due to reasons ranging from lack of time to simply escapism – not wanting to confront certain discomforting realities. Please talk it out. With just one or maybe more people that you’re close to, even if that pushes you out of your private or introverted comfort zone. Or reach out for professional help. We owe ourselves that. And we certainly owe it to our loved ones.
Being happy is not just your birthright, it is your responsibility. There is no greater form of disrespect to our Maker than even so much as entertaining thoughts of quitting life. Those who give in to their predicaments do not ‘end their pain’; they simply transfer it to those they leave behind. So, please talk. Open your heart, share your feelings. Communicating dilutes any wayward thought processes. A heart-to-heart cleanses your soul. Talk. If nothing else, do it out of a sense of duty to yourself and your loved ones.
I leave you, heavy-heartedly this weekend, with a quote by Albert Camus, “But in the end one needs more courage to live than to kill himself.”
Have a peaceful, happy weekend, all.