The third, and latest, in the Housefull series (and I sincerely hope it IS the last), HF3 is aimed solely at those who have nothing better to do – even reading your daily newspaper for the umpteenth time would be a safer bet. The film begins with a geography primer. We are shown the London Eye and the Big Ben in all its glory and are reminded, lest we forget, that it is London.

The story – Batuk Patel (Boman Irani), lives in London and is worth 50 billion pounds; he owns a palatial mansion with grounds so sprawling, the Queen of England would see green. His daughters Gracy, Sarah and Jenny (Jacqueline Fernandez, Nargis Fakhri and Lisa Haydon – all of whom need to brush up on their acting and Hindi diction) wear outfits so skimpy, Beyonce and Rihanna would think twice before buying! The reason for the father discouraging all suitors for his daughters is cocooned into a 2-hour plus film.

But then, the comely trio manage to find Akshay, Abhishek and Riteish who answer to the names of Sandy, Bunty and Teddy (no, no the girls were not visiting a pet shop).

Phrases/ jokes like ATM (aaj tujhe maaroonga), Gambhir toh Gautam bhi hai, Tera jolab nahi, I mean tera jawab nahin, Kaamwali gayi toh jaane de (let bygones be bygones) – and believe me, the last one is probably the best of the lot. By the time you finish reading this review, your far-off acquaintances would have sent you better one-liners. And if incidents such as red ants crawling into the crotch, coaxing a blind man into jumping into a waterless pool sound like a recipe for disaster, it doubtlessly is.

The premise of HF3 stubbornly refuses to make sense, sacrificing credibility in favour of over-baked jokes and banal humour. Towards the end of the film, rampant slapstick and larger-than-life buffoonery are given a free run by the debutant directors.

And what is Boman Irani doing in a film like this? His presence is a sheer waste of colossal talent. The tagline of such films brazenly tell us to leave our brains behind at home. Better still, leave yourselves behind at home too…