Psychologist Mehezabin Dordi practices at the Sir H N Reliance Foundation Hospital, where she assesses, formulates and implements comprehensive therapeutic interventions for patients with psychological / psychiatric problems, and others. Connect with her: dordi.mehezabin@gmail.com
Most of us face struggles at some point in our lives – stress at work, difficulty with a romantic partner or a friend, family problems, financial insecurities, etc. Struggles could also include serious emotional issues like depression or anxiety, behavioural issues like hoarding or addictions to alcohol, etc… or then cognitive symptoms such as repetitive upsetting thoughts or uncontrolled worry.

Many times, these struggles can be eased by taking better self-care and perhaps talking about your issues with a supportive friend or family member. But there are times when these steps don’t resolve the issue. When that happens, it makes sense to consider seeking the help of a qualified professional or psychologist.

So, how do you know if therapy is needed? There’s two general guidelines which help you identify the need for therapy. First, you need to ask, is the problem distressing? And second, is it interfering with more than one aspect of your life? The following are Ten critical signs to look out for which helps identify if you or a loved one needs to get professional help:
1. You’re having difficulty regulating and managing your emotions
2. You aren’t performing as effectively at work or school
3. You’re experiencing changes or disruptions in sleep or appetite
4. You’re struggling to build and maintain relationships
5. You’ve experienced some form of trauma
6. You no longer enjoy activities you typically used to
7. You’re grieving
8. Your physical health is being impacted
9. You want to change/improve, but don’t know where or how to start.
10. You’re using substance or food or sex or gaming to cope
Approaching The Topic Of Seeking Help With Your Parents And Loved Ones:
Acknowledging there’s an issue is the first step to feeling better. Asking for help is the second. That said, asking about therapy can feel overwhelming, but it is also very courageous. You could experience many negative thoughts but it’s important to remember that it’s a parent’s and/or loved one’s job to help you and love you, no matter what. They might have already noticed that you don’t seem yourself. Telling them can actually relieve their mind, because they’ll be able to understand what’s going on with you. Parents often are more supportive than you’d expect.
Pick a moment when your parents are feeling relaxed to bring it up. Tell them how you’re feeling and how it’s affecting your life. Don’t worry about trying to explain why you feel this way. Tell them you want to get help. Your parents might not get it the first time, some might say what you’re feeling sounds normal. If that happens, let them know you’re pretty sure this is more serious. It’s become a big problem in your life.
If they brush it off, try again another day. If you need to, get back-up from another trusted family member or friend. Asking for help can be scary but letting someone else in can be a huge relief. Don’t get caught up trying to analyse or explain why you might be feeling this way.
A lot of times, you experience resistance due to a lack of awareness. Awareness is the key ingredient that’s often missing for people who are resistant towards therapy. Before you talk with your parents, gather as much information to give them as you can. During the conversation itself, remember to stay calm, clearly express your feelings, and show them that you have a plan.
Here are some things you can do:
a. Write Down Your Reasons: Note your list of concerns about your mental health on a piece of paper. Make note of any examples or moments that stuck with you.
b. Prepare: Go to a trusted friend or relative, tell them what is going on, and ask them to help you prepare. Go to the conversation prepared. Find out pamphlets or information about your concerns. Print out information from online. Have something tangible to give your parents when you meet.
c. Find A Private Time: Choose your time carefully to sit down with your parents. Make allowances for their schedules so that when you talk, their attention will be solely focused on you.
d. Talk Rationally And Calmly: Take deep, calming breaths before starting. Your parents will appreciate your case more if you act maturely. At the same time, do not be afraid to let your emotions show. If they disagree, speak from your heart.
e. Use Specific Examples: It may not be enough to tell your parents that you suffer from anxiety or depression – you need to share real life examples.
Lastly, the decision to get therapy is a personal one. Keep in mind that talking to a mental health professional doesn’t automatically mean anything is wrong with you. You might simply decide that seeing a therapist is what helps you become the best version of yourself. Talking to someone isn’t a sign of weakness. After all, it takes strength to admit you don’t have all the answers!