Humans are intrinsically a social lot. We thrive in families, create bonds and ties, friendships and relationships. People enter our lives with a purpose, a meaning, as responsibilities, as duties. As we grow and mature, chipping away at what’s really not important or adds any significant value to our existence, we need to define our tribe – people who share similar values, mindsets and personalities. Sometimes, despite sharing similar opinions, interests and inclinations, certain personality traits can corrode your well-being faster than rust on iron!
You need to choose your tribe with care – you need to surround yourself with the right people, else your energy may dim… like batteries on a charge, you need people to uplift you, cheer you on, brighten your day with tender loving care that comes in form, tone and the way they speak. The instincts of the spiritually aware always serve them correctly.
People can be unintentionally toxic, creating havoc in lives and situations. Being mindful is about observance, recognition and teaching yourself about boundaries and when to just say no. Not an easy task, nor a welcoming one. You could end up hurting family and friends without meaning to. Recognizing who’s good for you helps mental, emotional and physical well-being. STOP being the sacrificial goat to things that are abrasive to your soul. Recognize the signs, look out for the signals, be aware of all those red flags, waving with deliberation in your face.
Learn to cope with letting go. Don’t allow people to waltz into your life without permission and park themselves on your mental space. All associations exist for a reason. To a spiritual person, you must learn skills of forgiveness, compassion and empathy before you decide what’s best for you. But at the very beginning of spiritual awakening, you must protect your light. Guard yourself against negativity and people who constantly make you feel small. Do away with the bullies, the gripers, the complainers, the egoist, the narcissists, the pessimists and the energy suckers.
Your tribe, just like your music, is a playlist of what works best for you. Happy people walk on sunshine and they choose to do it daily. Their purpose is to spread happiness and cheer wherever they go. They make your life fantastic and splendid just by being in it.
Remember, we have been assigned our share of burdens and woes. Not a single individual escapes some weight to bear. How gracefully you carry yours speaks volumes about you and your inner progress. Life is a journey and the path we walk on was chosen by us – much like a blueprint which decides the people you will encounter at every step in your life. But free will decides who you choose to keep in yours and make your tribe.
Here Are A Few Personalities You Should Stay Clear Of…
The Reactive Activators: These folks constantly contradict you; they’re always looking for an argument and they are ‘always right’! They desperately need to come out on top, even if it means pulling you down. They search for prey and if you are a weak target, you become their punching bag. These are frustrated, angry people, always insecure in their skin. Their energy dispenses a negativity that topples you from your spiritual center.
The Energy Vampires: Some people are capable robbing your smile with just their presence – they simply need to offload their garbage on you to make themselves feel lighter. A selfish bunch constantly announcing their woes, they couldn’t really care much about the challenges others face. If you find yourself constantly having to ask someone how they are feeling and if they are doing alright, only to yet again be drowning in their non-stop barrage of life’s injustices… RUN! They are gloomy and completely bereft of any joy or purpose, and they do not make attempts to resolve their issues – never allowing a ray of light to enter their dark lives. You’re left despondent, absorbing their negativity. They pose as victims but they are the victimizers. They use their own misery to satiate their constant need for attention, draining you of your positivity, leaving you worse for emotional wear and tear.
The Guilt Dispensers: These people come into your life with different agendas – they can be guilting managers who advise you, behavior critics who constantly correct you, moral guardians who believe they know best regarding every aspect of your life! They truly believe they know better than you, what is best for you. They come from wounded relationships but demand a high price from you in terms of feeling indebted to them for various things constantly. Be it their nutritional advice, or the way you dress, the way you speak or interact with others – they want you to feel indebted to them and seek their approval for all things you!
The Superfans: Be very careful of those who claim to idolize you, making you feel super special, like you’re the light of their lives and their personal hero! They’re another version of the guilt-dispensers, displaying constant adoration so that they can play the game of betrayed friend, whenever the occasion calls for it! These folks use you to hurt themselves and live to feel like the scorned protagonist of their own soap operas! They do you ‘favours’ you haven’t asked of them and then make you feel guilty if the favour is not returned three-fold!!
So, learn to choose your Tribe with discretion and learn to choose it wisely. After all, we live in a village and it is the tribe that makes it heaven or hell!